“I’m not dealing with this nonsense anymore,” says Donald Trump, slapping his silenced microphone and stepping into auditory range of the two network moderators.

“Mr. President,” says the female journalist, “we’re preventing you from interrupting Vice President Harris.”

“Both of you liberals know the American people love my voice more than any voice in the history of politics.”

“You’re not going to do this unilaterally,” says Harris, abandoning her microphone and walking to stand next to Trump.

“I didn’t realize you were so short, Kamala.”

“Well, I damn sure knew you were this fat but didn’t realize the sun had fried your skin so severely. Makes me wonder how a guy like you criticizes the appearance of a woman a generation younger and a whole lot cuter.”

Trump examines her face, torso, and legs and says, “I’m still not sure you’re black, Kamala, but that doesn’t matter. You couldn’t get a job as a cocktail waitress at any of my wonderful golf courses and casinos.”

The male moderator stands and says, “Vice President Harris, President Trump, stop this at once. We have important issues to discuss, and sixty million Americans want a serious debate.”

“That’s the last thing Kamala wants. Her Haitian guests in Ohio are eating their neighbors’ dogs and cats, and the white folks up there better really watch their children.”

The vice president rolls her eyes and says, “This is the most racist president in our nation’s history.”

The female moderator asks, “What about presidents during the time of slavery?”

“Trump’s worse. He and his fascist nominees on the Supreme Court were targeting black folks and other minorities when they destroyed Roe v. Wade and left poor pregnant women in danger of being butchered.”

“Don’t tell me about butchers, Kamala, or however you pronounce your name. You and your Marxist gang kill fetuses in their seventh, eighth, even their ninth month. You even kill babies right after they’re born.”

“No doctor in this nation would kill a newborn baby,” Harris says, “and if he did, I’d personally prosecute him. As all of you know, I enjoy prosecuting criminals and sending them to jail.”

Trump, who frowned during this statement, declares, “We won’t have a country if this communist keeps letting children change their sexes like most of us change shoes. She’s also allowed tens of millions of poor migrants to storm into our country through the southern border. Let’s be honest, folks. Things are getting pretty dark.”

“That’s how it should be,” says Harris. “My African ancestors were brought here in chains and forced to build this nation while being denied any rewards.”

Looking disgusted, Trump says, “Quit bellyaching, Kamala. My ancestors rescued yours from a miserable life in the jungle. Most of them would’ve died young from disease, starvation, or being eaten by wild African beasts.”

“You’re the most dangerous man in the world,” Harris says.

“No, Kamala, you and Biden are the most dangerous. You could’ve stopped a war between Russia and Ukraine, but you did nothing except encourage and arm Ukraine to fight, and they’ve lost millions of people. Their blood is the responsibility of this woman. I know Vladimir Putin very well, and he would never have attacked Ukraine when I was president. He feared me and he respected me. No one respects America anymore.”

Shaking her head, Harris says, “In fact, most nations around the world detested President Trump and his arrogance. I’ve talked to his foreign policy and military advisors, and they say he’s incompetent, unstable, and a threat to world peace. We all know he tried to overthrow our sacred democratic government on January sixth, 2021.”

“My backers knew the election had been stolen and they came to Washington, D.C. to try to restore democracy. I asked them to march in peace. I’m a very peaceful guy. Unlike the barbaric Biden-Harris regime, I presided over a peaceful world. And at home I used my genius as a businessman to build the greatest economy in the history of the world. Look at the disaster we have now. Inflation is strangling the working people of America. Gas and food and other essentials are unaffordable. We need a leader who isn’t against fracking and drilling for oil.”

“I’m not against fracking,” Harris says. “I like it.”

“You were against it until you realized it was politically impossible to continue with that position. I’ve made billions of dollars in my career and understand we need to drill baby drill.”

“Donald Trump has been bankrupt six times and indicted more times than we can count. He deserves no credit for coincidentally being in office during a cyclical period of affluence generated by our national economic machine.

“Why aren’t things better now, Kamala? Because you and doddering Old Joe have screwed things up and don’t know how to fix the problems. After I win this election, I’ll Make America Great Again. I’ll restore peace in the inner cities. And you won’t have to worry about Kamala Harris taking your guns and leaving you defenseless against the hordes of illegal aliens she’s letting into the country.”

Harris turns to Trump, aims a finger at his nose, and says, “I’m not going to take anyone’s gun, and no one’s going to take mine. That’s right. I’m a gunowner.”

“How long have you had one? Probably only since you took Sleepy Joe’s place.”

“Nobody’s business how long I’ve had my gun. Just remember, if you disrespect my appearance again, I’m gonna pistol whip your ass and frack Mar-a-Lago.”

George Thomas Clark Page on Amazon