Ignoring lower back pain daily getting sharper, Clyde eased into bed and next morning reached for radio alarm foot away but couldn’t lean that far, couldn’t lean at all, as if concrete encased lower back. Okay, just relax. This will pass. It better. Radio was grinding static. He reached few times before turning onto belly, like injured snake, and lunged until hitting button.

Clyde turned onto back and rested and thought surely he wouldn’t be like this forever. Come on. Get up. He tried but couldn’t extend foot out of bed. Should he call 911, if he could reach phone? No, he wasn’t ready for that. He might be unable to move by time they arrived and they’d have to break in. Or, if he improved, what would they say to uninjured man? After several discouraging efforts, he staggered onto feet. Then, emulating geriatric Frankenstein, he lumbered straight-legged to closet, grabbed pair of pants, waddled back to bed, sat down, put foot at time inside pants leg, leaned back and pulled half way on, sat up, used two hands on each leg to pull more, and stood for final pull and zip. Shoes and socks? No way. Using toes like fingers he slid feet into slippers, grabbed shirt, buttoned once, and braced against walls in bedroom and hall then grasped stair rail and staggered down, into garage, and like pregnant whale lunged into car. Blessedly, it started.

He drove to nearest hospital emergency entrance, hobbled inside, explained problem, and said please park. Nurse put him in wheelchair and rolled into room where she hooked to machine measuring vital signs and then told to undress – sadistic order smilingly administered. It took long time to comply. Much later doctor entered and Clyde explained he’d been exercising hard and sitting at computer all day and doctor said sounded like lower back strain but would verify with x-ray that proved negative. Doctor handed him prescription for painkillers and said don’t exercise for week.

Clyde waited ten days and warmed up slowly, without touching toes or bending over, and resolved to accept regimen of twenty timid minutes, and week by week back got better and only hurt when he sat too long or looked at thousand dollar billing.