George Thomas Clark
Maintaining Energy
Maintaining Energy by Donald Trump I’m tired of our unpatriotic enemies taking photos of me slumped in my seat and snoozing during meetings. First, most of the time I’m not really asleep. I’ve merely closed my eyes to seal out the world so my super brain can operate with full nuclear power. All the…
Trump Island
Trump Island by Donald Trump Even as busy as I’ve been, I’m surprised I didn’t think about this great project earlier. I’m always looking for challenges. I’ve not only been a three-time president of the United States and brilliant real estate developer and top-ranked reality television star and a renowned peacemaker and fearless conqueror, I’ve…
The Dark Side of Cesar Chavez
I never met Cesar Chavez but that didn’t preclude my having a serious discussion with him that may have proceeded about like the creative story below. As I write this introduction in March 2026, a decade later, I’m disturbed by revelations in the New York Times, following five years of investigative journalism, that the legendary…
Bibi’s New Home – An Excerpt from “Down Goes Trump”
This parable originally appeared in my book “Down Goes Trump,” a collection of satirical stories based on the news from 2016-2021 but still all too relevant and getting worse. How would Benjamin Netanyahu, circa 2017, feel if he were forced from his home and transported to a hovel? Such atrocities are daily occurring in the…
Remembering Jesse Jackson
The legendary civil rights leader recently passed away. Who remembers him and who doesn’t? I heard him speak in person and will never forget the experience. Like so many, I was saddened by the passing of Jesse Jackson a few days ago, and have been thinking about images from his prime, in the turbulent sixties…
Fire in the Sky
Fire in the Sky by President Harry S. Truman I worry the world is stumbling toward nuclear war, if not soon then probably sometime this century, and feel both obligated and qualified to comment since I’m still the only man in history who had to make the painful decision to use atomic bombs, and I…
Blond Bomber
Blond Bomber by Pam Bondi If I hadn’t been so bright and academically disciplined, I probably would’ve been a movie star or at least a Playboy Bunny. But I know I made the correct career choice becoming an attorney in my twenties and as a precocious forty-five-year-old defeated all challengers to become the first female…
Visiting Trump Again
Visiting Trump Again by Benjamin Netanyahu I love visiting President Donald Trump more than anyone in the world. He’s not only a wonderful man, he’s a strategic genius and peacemaker extraordinaire. Israelis and Americans, the closest of allies, are always excited when we meet at the summit, determined to save the world. I’ve already been…
Super Shameful
Super Shameful by Donald Trump Remember several years ago when a terrible hurricane destroyed much of unprepared Puerto Rico, and Melania and I rushed down and I threw rolls of paper towels at ravaged and rather dumb people who technically are citizens of the United States but you and I know they really aren’t. They…
Twenty-Six Questions for Donald Trump
Twenty-Six Questions for Donald Trump by George Thomas Clark Why did you announce that you would attack Iran to save anti-government protestors and promise that “help is on the way”? You implied the rescue was imminent. You knew that was a lie. You have many times bragged that you annihilated Iran’s nuclear program during your…
The Mearsheimer Problem
The Mearsheimer Problem by Stephen Miller I’ve been warning President Trump that we must do something about John Mearsheimer, an academic who incessantly blusters on YouTube about the lunacy of our administration’s policies in Gaza, Ukraine, Greenland, Venezuela, Iran, and other vital points around the globe. The last time I mentioned this to the president,…
Operation Fair Elections
Operation Fair Elections by Donald Trump i told georgia secretary of state to find me eleven thousand votes that’s all i needed but he chickened out now i’ve got search warrants and federal agents are carrying big boxes of ballots we seized and are going to prove i really won 2020 election and only way…
On the Brink
On the Brink by An Iranian Educator I’ve been on the edge of a sword all my life. When I was an adolescent in the late nineteen seventies, sadistic agents from SAVAK, the dreaded secret police of the Shah of Iran, stormed into our home, clubbed my father, cursed my mother, and threatened my brother…
Melania
Melania by Donald Trump I guess you know I was voted the most popular ladies’ man at my high school. We didn’t have any female students, but the guys often saw me driving around with the hottest girls in town. Some of the guys were jealous, of course, but most admired me and asked a…
Lebensraum
Lebensraum by Benjamin Netanyahu Israel and I have never yearned for anything but peace and safety for our people. I did not seize power but acquired it democratically and lost it and reacquired it and lost it again before once more earning the ultimate confidence of my people for what now totals a wondrous…
Julius Caesar v. Benito Mussolini — An Excerpt from “Noteworthy Battles”
This is the first story in my upcoming collection Noteworthy Battles. Other stimulating showdowns include Ulysses S. Grant v. Robert E. Lee, Stalin v. Hitler, John F. Kennedy v. Lyndon Johnson, Hillary Clinton v. Monica Lewinsky, Ernest Hemingway v. F. Scott Fitzgerald, and many others. Noteworthy Battles will be published in the spring of 2026.…
Liberty Bell
Liberty Bell by Larry Krasner “I’m the district attorney of this city and let me be clear. If any ICE agent is going to come to Philly to commit crimes: get the F out of here. If you do that here, I will charge you for those crimes, and you will be arrested. You will…
Golden Gaza
Golden Gaza by George Thomas Clark Attired in sandals, pink swimming trunks, a purple T-shirt emblazoned Gaza, and cool big blue sunglasses, Jared Kushner, ace diplomat and son-in-law of Donald Trump, stepped before the Davos dandies, removed his shades, and laughed nervously before he said, “I sure hope you ladies and gentlemen didn’t see my…
Greenland
Eighty-plus years ago the United States began building military bases in Greenland and maintained more than thirty for a generation and then voluntarily abandoned all but one installation used for missile warning and space surveillance. Today, Greenlanders resoundingly say come on back, if you want, and build as many bases as you need. But don’t…
Minnesota
Minnesota by Heinrich Himmler Deep in a bunker under the besieged city of Minneapolis, I clicked my heels and listened as President Trump said, “I have some serious problems up there.” “Yes, sir. Most regrettable.” “I guarantee those bastards stole the presidential election three straight times in Minnesota, but Democrat traitors claimed I never got…