Mexico

Campaign Mexico

June 20, 2018

i was running for mexican office in unnamed place but dropped out after cartels killed more than hundred politicians and many journalists

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Chapo Guzman Returns to Prison

January 22, 2016

“I’m in charge of Altiplano prison, Chapo, and didn’t come here because you asked. Or did you think you ordered me? Remember, the director who preceded me, and helped you escape, is locked in a nearby cell and will doubtless be incarcerated the rest of his life, as will you.” “Of course, comandante. I’m honored…

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Chapo Recaptured

January 12, 2016

okay the cabrones recaptured me and killed five amigos before taking me back to prison where i’d tunneled out and i asked for my old cell but you know cabrones they said i’d be somewhere else

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Chapo Discusses Great Escape

July 18, 2015

This is Chapo Guzman’s first interview since escaping from the Atiplano high security prison fifty-five miles from Mexico City. His representatives blindfolded and administered narcotics to an anonymous journalist before taking him/her to meet the man. Anonymous Journalist – Congratulations on your thrilling escape. Chapo Guzman – Those cocksuckers were loco to think they could…

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Chapo Guzman Escapes

July 16, 2015

I am at once humiliated and outraged that hypocritical Mexican officials have fired me as director of Altiplano prison in Mexico and loudly accused me of incompetence if not outright cooperation in the recent escape by celebrity mass murderer and narcotics trafficker Chapo Guzman. That is unfair. I am merely one decent man in a…

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Airport Taxi

July 9, 2015

Mark didn’t like late night arrivals at any airport especially in Mexico City where some people get hyper when they see a gringo. He should’ve been ready when a young man rushed up and in Spanish said, “Here, Señor, come with me.” “Where?” “To a place with no lines and low taxi fares.” “Taxis are…

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Eruption of Enrique Guzman

May 9, 2015

You consider that a national-prize painting, ten feet of completely black resin and charcoal offering no message or creativity. I don’t care we’re in the Palacio de Bellas Artes in Mexico City and some might say I’m jealous I didn’t win. Nonsense. It’s necessary to be outraged and impossible to tolerate such a mockery of…

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Touch of Saturnino Herran

April 24, 2015

You’ve never heard of me? That’s all right, don’t apologize. Most people haven’t. I’ll explain. I am born in this city, not far from the Aguascalientes Museum where we stand, and begin taking private drawing lessons as a child. My progress enthuses instructors, and when I’m eighteen, two years after my father dies, they urge…

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Famished Horse

April 16, 2015

This is more than a challenge. They want me to fail. That’s why they demanded: take Francisco Goitia’s dirty gold horse to your complex and make him a Triple Crown winner. Preposterous. The horse is several times three-years old and shows more ribs than a skeleton. When I introduce myself as the world’s greatest scientist,…

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Images of Death

April 12, 2015

Emiliano Zapata Dead handsome and authoritative he’s highlighted by grand mustache pointing at bloody chest amid men looking into camera 1919 Photograph from Archivo Casasila Cadaver of Pancho Villa not again will he extend both arms to earth as he hangs on his back over door of convertible Anonymous photo 1923 Poster Demonstration ghostly head…

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Teatro Juarez

February 23, 2015

Clyde definitely yawned, and perhaps growled, at several unfunny clowns mimicking idiots in front of the illuminated stone columns of Teatro Juarez in Guanajuato and resolved to escape and see the real show. He waded through hundreds of observers, amid thousands of tourists hiking by, and shoved aside one clown on the steps and climbed…

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Museum of Mummies

February 20, 2015

Don’t ever go to a joint with a blockhouse john out front where they make you pay to pee and tip a mournful woman handing out tissues as you enter. I should leave especially after I see the ticket line four or five wide and long as two football fields. I’m not going to wait…

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El Pipila

February 14, 2015

Go ahead, call me El Pípila, I do sound a bit like a turkey when I laugh and my freckled face suggests the eggs of that nutritious, earthbound bird. Come and see my statue on a hill overlooking Guanajuato. Admire my muscular legs, chest, and arms, the right of which holds high a torch I…

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Purgatory

February 9, 2015

I didn’t panic at all, not at first. We tourists at the Museo Casa de Purgatorio in Guanajuato simply followed the guide behind stone walls into a dim room where he said, “Here, ladies and gentlemen, we have a traditional stockade used to harness drunks and teach them discipline. Sir, would you like the give…

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Silver Mine

January 22, 2015

Come work in this seventeenth century silver mine near Guanajuato. The pay’s not great, just enough bad food to keep your Indian ass alive, and of course there are no health or retirement benefits but you won’t need them. Just climb sixty meters into a dusty hole and carry out seventy-kilo sacks of wealth till…

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Interview with Chapo

May 14, 2014

I’m a young reporter and delighted to be first to interview Chapo Guzman in his new cell at Altiplano, in the state of Mexico. I’ve met some celebrities but never such a big star. I imagine he must be pretty sad and discouraged living in a prison that has proven impregnable. Walls three feet thick…

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Free Chapo Guzman

March 2, 2014

No one paid us. No one gave us food or alcohol. No one told us to march in the streets of Culiacan. We marched and carried signs with hundreds maybe thousands of others because we love Chapo Guzman and want him freed from prison immediately. Chapo is our hero. He creates jobs and gives money…

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Chapo Guzman’s Five-Star Prison

February 25, 2014

You think I’m worried they captured me. Don’t be dumb. I let them take me. I’m tired of hiding in hovels in the Sierra or scurrying like a rat through city tunnels. I want the good life I’ve earned as a billionaire and one of the world’s most dangerous men. I want luxury and safety…

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Prime Real Estate

November 6, 2013

Come on in. This Tijuana home may be modest but it’s yours for a tenth you’d pay in San Diego. Now, step back here and check out the kitchen. You won’t have to go out front or back doors. Leave through this fine tunnel and relax in the little rail car rolling seven hundred yards…

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Teacher Patrimony

September 3, 2013

I teach Spanish in Mexico City, math in Morelos, history in Guadalajara. Father passed his job to me as Grandfather had to him. We’re educators. We don’t need government bureaucrats to hire and evaluate us with standardized tests. We’re evaluating them, wearing masks and waving sticks and lying in streets, snarling traffic and leaving kids…

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