Murder
Campaign Mexico
i was running for mexican office in unnamed place but dropped out after cartels killed more than hundred politicians and many journalists
Read MoreGuns in Classrooms
I arrive late to a packed board meeting of the Arid School District in your community and have to join others pressed against the wall and already listening to speakers address the five popularly-elected trustees of the school board who sit behind a long desk on the dais. “Guns are inherently offensive, not defensive,” says…
Read MoreThe Loaded Lip
Listen to me. I’m determined to kill a hundred thousand drug dealers and users and to fatten fish in Manila Bay where I’ll dump all destroyers of our children. I won’t actually be doing the killing and the lifting and dumping, of course. I’m president of the Philippines and before that was the feared and…
Read MoreChapo Guzman Returns to Prison
“I’m in charge of Altiplano prison, Chapo, and didn’t come here because you asked. Or did you think you ordered me? Remember, the director who preceded me, and helped you escape, is locked in a nearby cell and will doubtless be incarcerated the rest of his life, as will you.” “Of course, comandante. I’m honored…
Read MoreChapo Recaptured
okay the cabrones recaptured me and killed five amigos before taking me back to prison where i’d tunneled out and i asked for my old cell but you know cabrones they said i’d be somewhere else
Read MoreViolent Virgin Islands
Worn by cold weather and eternal gray days I leave Des Moines and move to the Virgin Islands where a friend from college tells me the weather’s always great except for high humidity and occasional hurricanes. I don’t worry much about climate. I just do what locals do. I like the Virgin Islands but better…
Read MoreJail for Juvenile Felons
There’s a pretty picture on the postcard: San Francisco Bay provides a serene, blue backdrop for a hill with a group of shining buildings on it. The writing on the other side acknowledges the setting’s superficial beauty but offers a warning: San Quentin prison may look good on a postcard but is not a nice…
Read MoreWhere’s the NRA on Roseburg?
Naturally, when there’s another rapid-fire mass murder in an American public school, I look to the National Rifle Association for comfort and insight, and have been searching the NRA website for several days, since the slaughter of ten students at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon, but have yet to locate an article – or…
Read MoreChapo Discusses Great Escape
This is Chapo Guzman’s first interview since escaping from the Atiplano high security prison fifty-five miles from Mexico City. His representatives blindfolded and administered narcotics to an anonymous journalist before taking him/her to meet the man. Anonymous Journalist – Congratulations on your thrilling escape. Chapo Guzman – Those cocksuckers were loco to think they could…
Read MoreChapo Guzman Escapes
I am at once humiliated and outraged that hypocritical Mexican officials have fired me as director of Altiplano prison in Mexico and loudly accused me of incompetence if not outright cooperation in the recent escape by celebrity mass murderer and narcotics trafficker Chapo Guzman. That is unfair. I am merely one decent man in a…
Read MoreBruce Jenner Opens Up
I was twenty-three in the spring of 1976 and often played basketball in the Sacramento State University gym and then drove to the all-weather track on the south side of campus and jogged before running wind sprints. People often complimented me for being in good shape, and I considered myself a stud but must’ve known…
Read MoreEmotions and Statistics from Ferguson
The usual suspects right and left are respectively railing that police are always justified in using force in ghettoes or they’re never justified in so doing especially if the alleged criminal descended from slaves. There’s no need to refute Al Sharpton, race baiter and riotous agitator extraordinaire, or columnist Leonard Pitts, a self-proclaimed introvert who’s…
Read MoreInterview with Chapo
I’m a young reporter and delighted to be first to interview Chapo Guzman in his new cell at Altiplano, in the state of Mexico. I’ve met some celebrities but never such a big star. I imagine he must be pretty sad and discouraged living in a prison that has proven impregnable. Walls three feet thick…
Read MoreFree Chapo Guzman
No one paid us. No one gave us food or alcohol. No one told us to march in the streets of Culiacan. We marched and carried signs with hundreds maybe thousands of others because we love Chapo Guzman and want him freed from prison immediately. Chapo is our hero. He creates jobs and gives money…
Read MoreChapo Guzman’s Five-Star Prison
You think I’m worried they captured me. Don’t be dumb. I let them take me. I’m tired of hiding in hovels in the Sierra or scurrying like a rat through city tunnels. I want the good life I’ve earned as a billionaire and one of the world’s most dangerous men. I want luxury and safety…
Read MoreHumane Capital Punishment
The European Union insisted Germany stop supplying American prisons with sodium thiopental, an anesthetic that had frequently been used in three-drug lethal injections. Penal authorities responded by brewing some unproven compounds, and last week relatives and attorneys of Dennis McGuire complained he experienced cruel and unusual punishment during execution since the new intravenous two-drug cocktail…
Read MoreEnd of Suffering
Frankly, I don’t often feel well and really should say I never do. I don’t know what the problem is but try to feel better by smoking bath salts, not the stuff you use in the tub but a combination of chemicals that’re way stronger than amphetamines. This morning the bath salts hit me much…
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