Pussy Riot

Vladimir Putin Attacks

March 11, 2014

The United States is shaking while all of Europe trembles. They know they can’t stop me. No one can. I’m master politician black belt in judo and consummate stud who took down sacrilegious female rockers Pussy Riot and sent them to jail same place many other critics spend years contemplating dangers of contradicting their leader…

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Putin on Syrian Gas

September 14, 2013

Let’s be honest. I’m shrewdest politician in world. I maneuver into many terms as president, deftly gag dissenters, jail Pussy Riot female rockers who belittle Christ, and now I write columns for New York Times. If life weren’t so good in Russia I’d move to Big Apple and comment full-time. I have special insight into…

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Vladimir Putin Suppresses Pussy Riot

August 18, 2012

My Gods are no longer Lenin and Stalin and beautiful communist colossus crumbling during greatest geopolitical disaster of Twentieth Century. Higher power now is Russian Orthodox Church which supports me and ongoing recovery of nation I have rebuilt and led for many years and, God willing, will lead many more. It has thus been sacred…

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