Soviet Union

Stalin Makes Comeback

June 15, 2015

I hope you hypocritical Americans have read the recent article in the Los Angeles Times. If I had said these things, you wouldn’t have believed them. Now you have to accept that in the only place that counts, the vast Soviet Union, I am again a hero to leaders and peasants alike, and that those…

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Putin Warns the West

March 20, 2014

Don’t call me shorty or I’ll throw you over my hip. I’m a superpower leader ready to protect the Russian people who’ve so often been “not merely robbed but plundered” by such heathens as Napoleon, Hitler, Bush father and son, Clinton, and Obama, the latter four deluded Americans who claim God wants them to “determine…

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Nikita Khrushchev Explains

March 19, 2014

Don’t blame me Vladimir Putin’s grabbing the Crimea sixty years after I bestowed that lovely peninsula on Ukraine, the great Russian Breadbasket where I’d forged my political career and found a bride. Listen to my son, Sergei. He’s a wizard in computers and missiles and holds multiple advanced degrees and teaches at Brown University and…

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Empty Boots

March 10, 2013

On massive foundation in Budapest park great Hungarian patriots erected me twenty-five feet high in bronze to celebrate seventieth birthday and thank for destroying Nazis. Only few years after I departed imperialists threw steel ropes around neck, burned legs with blow torches, and pulled body down to desecrate face beneath empty boots.

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Vladimir Putin Suppresses Pussy Riot

August 18, 2012

My Gods are no longer Lenin and Stalin and beautiful communist colossus crumbling during greatest geopolitical disaster of Twentieth Century. Higher power now is Russian Orthodox Church which supports me and ongoing recovery of nation I have rebuilt and led for many years and, God willing, will lead many more. It has thus been sacred…

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Berlin Wall Bones

March 28, 2012

under berlin wall rats chewed bones of lenin and stalin

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Dear Leader Vladimir Putin

December 28, 2011

i look like sinister kgb chief yet charm russians as masculine action man judo throwing men over my hip horseback riding bare chest muscles bright in sun hunting and fishing russians know my leadership saved from chaos following biggest geopolitical disaster twentieth century crumbling soviet union i established order led economic boom and denounced united…

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Empty Boots

November 21, 2011

on massive foundation in budapest park great hungarian patriots erected me twenty-five feet high in bronze to celebrate seventieth birthday and thank for destroying nazis in few years without me imperialists threw steel ropes around neck burned legs with blow torches and pulled body down to desecrate face beneath empty boots To see the “Empty…

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