Wladimir Klitschko

Mayor Klitschko’s Successes

August 19, 2014

I didn’t worry about ragged furniture in my office at Kiev City Hall. The city looked much worse as unemployment rose, wages fell, our till stood empty, protestors lived in tents a hundred meters from my office, and Russian troops mobilized on our eastern border. The big bears intended to convince all Ukrainians, and especially…

Read More

Return of The King

May 17, 2014

I’m back and know you’ve missed me as much as I’ve missed having you listen to me. I may be the world’s most splendid talker. In public I spellbind, in groups I entertain, and one on one I scare hell out of people. There’s nothing bad in that. That’s life, and a damn good one.…

Read More

Ali Drinks Klitschko Kool-Aid

April 30, 2014

I was the greatest and will be again. Don’t deny I can do it. I’m drinking Klitschko Kool-Aid secretly provided by Wladimir’s diabolical team of scientists who will only let me partake until I’m at my former peak, and no higher. That would be in 1967 when I was the prettiest and fastest heavyweight who…

Read More