CEOs Jailed, The Rolling Stones Take Over

April 21, 2011

Home » Commentary » CEOs Jailed, The Rolling Stones Take Over

Until recently I would’ve simply fired all criminal CEOs and unholy underlings who preside over multi-billion-dollar annual losses yet reward themselves millions in bonuses, which, in a sane world, would be extra money paid for jobs especially well done. These brigands have so severely damaged us that a fortnight ago more than ninety percent of the world’s heads of state ordered me to rebuild the international economy, and I responded with precision and resolve, ordering my SWAT teams and elite military squads to capture, gag, and incarcerate the most egregious of the trillion-dollar thieves and hold them incommunicado in a variety of unpleasant places along with other terroristic agents.

And who will replace these self-infatuated financial gluttons? They’ll have to be people who can both inspire the masses and generate huge profits, a sublime combination that, I conclude, belongs solely to those electrifying rockers The Rolling Stones. This epiphany arrives as I wait for a fall concert in a stadium teeming with aging baby boomers and their children. Only a band fronted by powerhouse Mick Jagger sells forty thousand tickets, many at four hundred fifty bucks each, and only a primal beat motivates people to wade through humanity first in the parking lot and then slowly into the stadium and into lines where bracelets are attached to those with tickets to the infield and next at the gate where we finally step down onto the field and then struggle through a restricted path that leads to seats fifty to a hundred yards from the massive, four-story structure on the floor of which The Stones will play.

Soon sad news arrives that Mick and the lads won’t be appearing for a couple of hours. Rather than revile the rockers for inefficiency or greed, we applaud their sales acumen. Beer flows, mounds of souvenirs are sold, stories are exchanged, and most fans realize they’re buying not only the live music of The Rolling Stones but their memories of that music and a slice of themselves, entwined with the band, three or four decades ago. As a result of the revelry, long lines extend to the doors of the men’s bathrooms and far out the doors of the ladies’, and soon there are almost as many women as men in the men’s rooms, and the women were smiling.

“If we went in theirs, we’d be arrested,” one man says.

“I wonder if I should slip a note to that one,” his friend responds.

From a stall exits a cherubic young man who could’ve been the grandson of ole Mick. The lad raises both arms, clenches his fists, closes his eyes, and yells, “The Rolling Fucking Stones.” And boomers cheer.

Back in my seat I calculate ticket prices times attendance times concessions and parking fees and estimate The Rolling Stones tonight will generate fifteen to twenty million dollars. We know our corporate enemies become avaricious and slothful when paydays are assured, even when their bumbling has precluded profit. What would The Stones do? They’d bring it every song. Exuding energy and passion, Mick Jagger pouts and points and prances as he performs, and often finishes classics like “Start Me Up,” “Tumblin’ Dice,” “Honky Tonk Women,” and “Jumping Jack Flash” with graceful bows and two-handed kisses slowly extended to the audience. More than halfway into the concert a center portion of the stage detaches and moves The Stones straight ahead into the midst of the masses, which has essentially been watching a closed circuit event on a giant screen behind the stage. Now the boys pass close by, and Mick’s legs are startlingly skinny but his stomach ripped, and creative soulmate Keith Richards bears a lined and haggard face after years of cigarette smoking and other pharmacological abuse. Drummer Charlie Watts and guitarist Ronnie Wood earnestly support the stars.

Great financial leaders like The Rolling Stones understand the need to share good fortune. Mick Jagger certainly knows, when he sings a duet with a robust female backup singer, that his soulful but husky voice will be overwhelmed by the lady’s hormonal youth and clarity. He doesn’t try to undermine her. He keeps singing and smiling and gesturing as if delivering a tour de force. For many of the songs, he does. And he and The Rolling Stones will continue to excel not only in the musical arena but on the international stage which has been cleared for them to orchestrate our economies in the same way they’re doing their “A Bigger Bang” tour that sells four and a half million tickets for a hundred forty seven concerts in thirty-two countries and generates more than half a billion dollars. Put these lads in charge and things’ll be all right.

George Thomas Clark

George Thomas Clark is the author of Hitler Here, a biographical novel published in India and the Czech Republic as well as the United States. His commentaries for GeorgeThomasClark.com are read in more than 50 countries a month.

Recent Commentary

Books

HITLER HERE is a well researched and lyrically written biographical novel offering first-person stories by the Fuehrer and a variety of other characters. This intimate approach invites the reader to peer into Hitler’s mind, talk to Eva Braun, joust with Goering, Goebbels, and Himmler, debate with the generals, fight on land and at sea and…
See More
Art history and fiction merge to reveal the lives and emotions of great painters Vincent van Gogh, Pablo Picasso, Frida Kahlo, Diego Rivera, William H. Johnson, Lee Krasner, and many others.
See More
This fast-moving collection blends fiction and movie history to illuminate the stimulating lives and careers of noted actors, actresses, and directors. Stars of this book include Humphrey Bogart, Clark Gable, Marilyn Monroe, Bette Davis, Alfred Hitchcock, Clint Eastwood, Cate Blanchett, and Spike Lee.
See More
In this collection of thirty-eight chiseled short stories, George Thomas Clark introduces readers to actors, alcoholics, addicts, writers famous and unknown, a general, a lovelorn farmer, a family besieged by cancer, extraterrestrials threatening the world, a couple time traveling back to a critical battle, a deranged husband chasing his wife, and many more memorable people…
See More
Anne Frank On Tour and Other Stories
This lively collection offers literary short stories founded on History, Love, Need, Excess, and Final Acts.
See More
In lucid prose author George Thomas Clark recalls the challenges of growing up in a family beset by divorce, depression, and alcoholism, and battling similar problems as an adult.
See More
Let’s invite many of the greatest boxers and their contemporaries to tell their own stories, some true, others tales based on history. The result is a fascinating look into the lives and battles of those who thrilled millions but often ruined themselves while so doing.
See More
In a rousing trip through the worlds of basketball and football, George Thomas Clark explores the professional basketball league in Mexico, the Herculean talents of Wilt Chamberlain, the artistry of LeBron James, the brilliance of Bill Walsh, and lots more. Half the stories are nonfiction and others are satirical pieces guided by the unwavering hand of an inspired storyteller.
See More
Get on board this collection of satirical stories, based on news, about the entertaining but absurd and often quite dangerous events following the election of President Donald J. Trump in November 2016 until January 6, 2021, shortly after his loss to Joe Biden.
See More
Join Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush and other notables on a raucous ride into a fictional world infused with facts from one of the roughest political races in modern U.S. history.
See More
History and literary fiction enliven the Barack Obama phenomenon from the African roots of his father and grandfather to the United States where young Obama struggles to control vices and establish his racial identity. Soon, the young politician is soaring but under fire from a variety of adversaries including Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh.
See More
These satirical columns allow startlingly candid Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush to explain their need to control the destinies of countries, regions, and, ultimately, the world. Osama bin Laden, Dick Cheney, Condoleezza Rice, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Karl Rove, and other notables, not all famous, also demand part of the stage.
See More
Where Will We Sleep
Determined to learn more about those who fate did not favor, the author toured tattered, handmade refuges of those without homes and interviewed them on the streets and in homeless shelters, and conversed with the poor in the United States, Mexico, Ecuador, and Spain, and on occasion wrote composite stories to illuminate their difficult lives.
See More
In search of stimulating stories, the author interviewed prostitutes in Madrid, Mexico City, Havana, and Managua and on many boulevards in the United States, and he talked to detectives and rode the rough roads of social workers who deal with human trafficking, which is contemporary slavery, and sometimes used several lives to create stories, and everywhere he ventured he witnessed struggles of those whose lives are bound In Other Hands.
See More
In compressed language Clark presents a compilation of short stories and creative columns about relationships between men and women.
See More
Political Satire for Progressives
Available now in a single digital-only volume of four books: Echoes from Saddam Hussein, Obama on Edge, King Donald, and Down Goes Trump. In his signature style, George Thomas Clark combines satire and creative writing to illuminate many historic developments this century. Echoes from Saddam Hussein – Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush candidly explain their need to control the…
See More