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Arnold Acting on Budget

January 14, 2004

Doesn’t Arnold look good?  No matter what the camera angle or lightning, day or night, inside or outside, that rascal is chiseled and tanned and verily glowing with handsomeness and charm.  You know it.  He’s got a hell of a smile, too, at once split-front toothy and warm and empathetic.  It’s a smile full of…

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A Rose in the Hall of Fame

January 13, 2004

Quit posturing. Quit pontificating. Quit fornicating around, you self-righteous dunderheads. Put Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame as soon as possible. Put Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame today. Put Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame retroactively and claim you had him there all along. Where else are you turkeys who run…

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Michael Savages the Nation

December 29, 2003

Perhaps I shouldn’t have. I knew what could happen if I switched radio stations during weeknight time slot. But I was desperate. PBS, oasis of thoughtfulness and moderation, was not less so at moment but I was bored by voice of gentle man chronicling love of cartoons. So I pushed button for ESPN radio where…

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Navigating the Amazonian Universe

November 19, 2003

“Find Hitler Here,” I said to the computer expert. “It’s right there,” he said. “Not the old, out-of-print edition with the swastika on the cover. The current edition, with Hitler’s menacing portrait on the cover, the one you designed.” The expert, who in his living room has two monitors as large as respectable television screens…

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