Deadbolt Rules
December 11, 2011
(This vertical prose was rewritten horizontally and posted September 22, 2012.)
hell of hot day fishing
in thin mountain air
sun scorched harold
and he drank too
many beers
didn’t matter he caught
no fish he had to return
to rat hole room at
rear of house in bad
area
rusty deadbolt jammed
and impatient harold
broke key in lock
pounding landlord’s
door she wasn’t
home
in his trunk he
got tools didn’t
know how to use
for job he hated
and below lock
pried door
open an inch
with screwdriver
left in place
looked promising
in indeterminate way
so shoved another
screwdriver in
above lock
prying door
another inch
he jammed
two more
screwdrivers into
door below
and above others
splintering wood
and cursing
neighbors unhappy
but relieved
it was him
his door looked
damned strange
pushed in three
inches under and
over deadbolt
which held strong
harold backed up
kicked door
and continued
until deadbolt
broke doorjamb
you’ll pay for
damn door
landlord said
that night
where were you
harold asked
not important
since my key
couldn’t have
removed yours
from lock