Good Luck Nigeria

June 10, 2014

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I’m in the Nigerian army a few years ago when Muslim insurgents of Boko Haram start killing people in the north and demand girls stop attending Western schools and establish harsh rules supposedly found in the Koran. I don’t know or care about that stuff and doubt President Goodluck Jonathan does, either. Like me, he’s a Christian from the south, and we know his religion is being president and why he restricts a half million undisciplined soldiers and tells Muslim leaders in the north to handle the increasing violence of Boko Haram.

I guarantee soldiers feel it when their leader doesn’t want to fight. Why should we be in the field without enough ammunition and supplies and get paid shit for interminable tours during which we eat slop? After that, who wants to fight guys with more firepower? I’m tired of seeing friends blown away. The last time we’re ambushed I’m the only guy left and about to eat the Boko Haram rifle in my face but shout, I want to learn more about the Koran.

You appear to be a competent soldier, so we may teach you.

I’m very grateful. Our leader Abubakar Shekau is more dynamic than Goodluck Jonathan. Give him several billion dollars a year and a half million men and see what he does. Even now we usually rout the soldiers. They don’t care three hundred girls are kidnapped. I don’t think Jonathan cares, either, and his wife Patience recently says she doubts the kidnappings really happened and if they did regional officials are responsible because they allowed girls to take Western exams.

The girls can return home soon as they’re exchanged for some of our imprisoned comrades. That’s fair. Meanwhile the girls are wearing hijabs and studying the Koran and learning about the evil West. We want everyone in the north, and eventually everyone in Nigeria, to lead a proper Muslim life.

Today I’m in a uniform like the one I used to wear. My comrades are also in uniforms, and riding Toyota pickup trucks we race into a village that asked government soldiers to protect it: we’re here, and you’ll be safe, quick, everyone into the center of the village. At least a hundred children, women, and men are herded there, and we shout, Allah is great, and start firing and keep firing and when they’re all on the ground we walk through them and fire some more. A few people escape but we’ve got guys in bushes and on motorcycles outside the village to finish up.

George Thomas Clark

George Thomas Clark is the author of Hitler Here, a biographical novel published in India and the Czech Republic as well as the United States. His commentaries for GeorgeThomasClark.com are read in more than 50 countries a month.

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