Hydrogen Man
January 13, 2016
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I’m not short and pudgy. I’m taller and firmer than you think and in fact I’m a stud who watches professional basketball and lives like a god and beds any woman I want and the other night my current favorite swooned as I told her, “This morning I exploded a hydrogen bomb.”
“Oh, Dear Leader.”
“My bomb terrified timid Americans and traitorous South Koreans and the staggering Chinese and unarmed Japanese.”
“You’re incredible.”
“Don’t listen to their lies the explosion wasn’t big enough to be a hydrogen bomb. The bomb was huge.”
“I believe it.”
“My enemies know my power. They just don’t know what I’m going to do with it.”
“You won’t use a hydrogen bomb, will you, Dear Leader?”
“Of course I’ll use it, as a chip when I negotiate an end to sanctions and the start of even more prosperous times for our healthy and happy people.”