Lecturing Trump

By Xi Jinping

Donald Trump must be nervous, flying to huge Beijing where he’s worried I may publicly rebuke him for bad behavior. He should know I’m too sophisticated to insult him before TV cameras as he did to President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine last year at the White House. Poor Zelensky is a tough little guy from a medium-size country while I, confidently waiting for Trump, am delighted to be president for life in the nation that recently replaced the United States as the most formidable on earth. The Americans, as is often the case, have a war going, but we Chinese know how to live in peace. That is but one of our advantages.

When President Trump steps from the plane he places his left hand on the handrail and carefully descends the steps. I can’t shake his hand now. I’m watching a screen from the Great Hall of the People where a motorcade soon takes Trump and I welcome him to his first summit meeting in China in nine years. I enjoy hosting big events and this is bigger than most. I hope I’m inspiring the president as we walk on the ceremonial carpet in front of my officers and men whom he tells I’m a great man and that he’s proud to be my friend. I’m less effusive in my remarks about President Trump.

He’s excited by the attention, I can tell, but nervous about what most concerns me. In private I don’t waste time, telling him, “I want you and the United States to understand what Taiwan means to us. In the West, you don’t really know. It’s time for our wayward island to come home.”

Trump briefly looks away from me and then says, “Taiwan is democratic and an economic powerhouse.”

“Problems in Taiwan could cause a war.”

In an uncustomarily modest way, Trump says, “We sure don’t need a war nine thousand five hundred miles away. I’ll remind Taiwan not to proclaim independence.”

“They better not,” I said. “China has always emphasized it will respond with force if Taiwan moves toward independence.”

Trump is silent, so I continue, “That’s the most critical issue in US-China relations.”

“We’re good friends with Taiwan,” he says.

In a professorial tone, I tell him, “I’m concerned that you recently signed contracts to sell Taiwan eleven billion dollars of weapons. Thankfully, you’re not fulfilling those sales yet.”

“But we could,” Trump says. He retrieves a paper from inside his coat and reads, “In 1982 the Reagan administration promised not to consult with China on arms sales to Taiwan.”

“It’s essential you understand China won’t permit anyone to arm Taiwan with huge supplies of the latest weapons.”

“We’ve been selling them weapons for years.”

I frown and tell Trump, “That practice must be dramatically restricted for reasons I’ve just discussed. I also want to talk to you about blockades in the Persian Gulf.”

“Iran shut down the Strait of Hormuz,” Trump says. “They wouldn’t let anything out, so we decided not to let their ships out, either.”

I nod at two aides who activate a large dropdown map of the Persian Gulf. As the map descends, I watch Trump stare at the screen like a kid at the movies.

“China receives about a million and a half barrels of oil a day from Iran, and we buy ninety percent of all oil they export,” I say, laser-pointing at photos and icons. “I hope you appreciate why we can’t keep the Persian Gulf closed much longer.”

“We’ll pull our blockade back when Iran cooperates and turns over its enriched nuclear material,” says Trump. “They can’t have a bomb.”

“Iran can’t have a bomb, but Israel can have two hundred? The Strait was open until you and Israel attacked Iran.”

Trump doesn’t answer. I tell him, “It’s important to restore all international oil routes. None of us want to damage our economies.”

“President Xi, China has more oil in storage than any country, even the United States.”

“We only have enough for a few months.”

“We can sell you some of our oil,” Trump says.

“Then you’d run out just as we would. The only solution is to open the Strait of Hormuz and keep pumping and shipping oil. You’re holding a lot more cards than Iran. Make a deal.”

George Thomas Clark on Amazon