Operation Roaring Lion
by Donald Trump

I’m the most powerful man who’s ever lived and positive I can ignore the War Powers Resolution demanding I notify Congress to get its approval within forty-eight hours of attacking another country.  That’s absurd. I’m not going to alert “vicious (and) terrible” Iranian enemies that we’re coming to crush them. They’ve killed thousands of Americans, and I’ve often warned them they better stop or else. And with equal conviction, I ignore weaklings at the United Nations and its worldwide “law that a nation is prohibited from using force against the territorial integrity or political independence of other nations. Such actions are generally illegal unless authorized by the UN Security Council or taken in self-defense against an imminent attack.”

Besides, the whole world knew I was going to strike Iran. I had to or they would’ve someday tried to destroy the United States. My buddy and ace negotiator Steve Witkoff just found out the Iranians were only a week away from enriching nuclear weapons grade uranium. And I’ve been warning that Iran will soon have ballistic missiles that can fly six thousand miles and hit the United States. Can you imagine those bearded terrorists with nuclear armed ICBMs? That would be intolerable.

Early Saturday morning I ordered an attack that will teach Iran many things, especially not to lie to us in arms negotiations or mess with American military might. My accurate bombs and missiles have already killed Ayatollah Ali Khamenei who’d recently ordered his goons to cut the internet and shoot to kill tens of thousands of starving protestors in the streets. When Iranian authorities finally admitted Khamenei’s thirty-six years of terror had ended, anxious citizens rushed outside and cheered and celebrated along streets so recently soiled by blood. This is a different war, and just as I told Americans there could be casualties on our side, I gave Iranians the option to surrender with immunity or be annihilated

It was an accident we bombed a Saturday morning elementary class and killed about a hundred girls and others. That happens in war. Commanders in chief in the west aren’t criminals. Look at me. I’m a soldier for freedom and peace. I won’t ever have to worry about my pilot making an emergency landing somewhere I might be arrested for various war crimes. I haven’t been tried for those crimes because I haven’t committed them. I know Prime Minister Netyahu has to be very careful. When flying to the United States, as he often does, his pilot dips into the Mediterrean airspace to avoid unfriendly European countries. Special thanks for President Orban of Hungary for being the only European leader to sometimes offer his capital airport to Bibi.

Don’t think I haven’t been worrying about the Strait of Hormuz. I know a fifth of world daily oil supply flows south out of the Persian gulf, bending around a finger of land in the Strait not far from Iranian shore batteries.

“We’ll close the Strait of Hormuz,” Iranians often threaten.

“Either surrender now and receive complete immunity,” I announce by social media, “or face certain death.”

George Thomas Clark on Amazon