About four o\u2019clock this dark morning five armored SUVs enter an Akron estate, a man in the first vehicle using an electronic device to open the wrought iron gate, and speed to the entrance of a mansion boasting more than thirty thousand square feet. At least ten camouflaged commandos emerge from somewhere and aim automatic weapons at the intruders. From the second SUV steps Dan Gilbert who says, \u201cRelax, it\u2019s me. Tell him I\u2019m here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cYou got an appointment?\u201d says a commando.<\/p>\n
\t\u201cDon\u2019t need one.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cCome back when you\u2019re expected.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tGilbert extends his hand toward an open vehicle door and is handed a microphone powered by the running engine. \u201cLeBron, I\u2019ll give you two minutes to get down here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tThe amplified voice rattles windows. In less than a minute LeBron James, attired in red silk pajamas, sprints out the front door and says, \u201cWhat the hell\u2019s this, Gilbert? Consider yourself under arrest.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cYou\u2019ve kept me biting my nails long enough. Who are you going to play for next year?\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cI haven\u2019t decided yet.\u201d LeBron turns toward his residence and shouts, \u201cBring me my manifesto.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tAnother employee, this one attired like General Patton and sporting a pearl-handle revolver on each hip, runs from the house and says, \u201cHere it is, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cGive me the mike, Dan.\u201d The wee team owner complies, and all the neighbors surely hear, \u201c\u2018I don\u2019t know why I\u2019m being gracious after getting swept by the Warriors, and beaten by them eight of the last nine title games, and three out of the last four NBA finals. Let\u2019s be honest, my Cavaliers were as good as this celebrated squad until the addition of Kevin Durant two years ago. I can\u2019t fault Durant, who hadn\u2019t sniffed a title before joining a team that had just won seventy-three times in the regular season and extended us to seven in a thrilling series won by us. Durant wanted some championship hardware, and knew my Miami Heat had snuffed his Oklahoma City Thunder in 2012 and my Cavs had beaten the 2016 Warriors when his team had failed to do so. I\u2019m not jealous. I say this merely in the interest of historical accuracy. <\/p>\n
\u201c\u2018Kevin Durant has earned his two straight finals MVP awards. And he certainly should be credited for following my blueprint of assembling star-laden teams in Miami and Cleveland. I at least tried to maintain a modicum of balance and only joined two standouts. Durant jumped into the protective arms of three virtuosos and would probably like to play with a few more. But you won\u2019t hear me disparaging this front-running beanpole. Indeed, I now consider myself an advocate of Durant\u2019s quest for unspeakable basketball wealth.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u201cThat’s all I\u2019ve got so far, Dan.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s enough to tell me you won\u2019t be playing for us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn my place, would you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Gilbert points at LeBron and seems ready to speak but says nothing.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe media reports are correct. My administrative team and I are considering the Houston Rockets. With me, there\u2019s no doubt they\u2019d have beaten the Warriors, instead of losing in seven games, the final two without Chris Paul. I\u2019ve also been quite frank, some even say too enthusiastic, about my admiration of young studs Ben Simmons and Joel Embid in Philadelphia. I\u2019ll also consider the Lakers but will have to bring another star with me because my addition alone won\u2019t immediately lead to a title on a team of talented but still immature young teammates. I hope that helps, Dan.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about Cleveland, LeBron? I\u2019ve spent hundreds of millions getting the players you asked for.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI asked you not to trade Kyrie Irving, to tell him he had two years left on his contract. But I concede you\u2019ve spent vigorously to try to sustain our excellence. Now, though, you\u2019re tied down by huge contracts for players we can empirically state aren\u2019t good enough. I have to move on, Dan. And you need to rebuild.\u201d<\/p>\n
Gilbert walks to LeBron and shakes his hand. He returns to his vehicle and the armored SUVs pull away.<\/p>\n