{"id":1313,"date":"2009-12-01T22:33:11","date_gmt":"2009-12-01T22:33:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.georgethomasclark.com\/?p=1313"},"modified":"2010-06-16T22:33:36","modified_gmt":"2010-06-16T22:33:36","slug":"food-overdose-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/georgethomasclark.com\/food-overdose-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Food Overdose"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Friday morning after Thanksgiving Abernathy called from San Diego where he was unable to extricate himself from bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod,\u201d I said, \u201cyou\u2019ve haven\u2019t fallen off the wagon again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid I have.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou must accept you\u2019re an alcoholic and powerless under the influence of tequila.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not talking about alcohol; I\u2019m talking food.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/strong>\u201cStay off meat.\u00a0 It makes you eat like a starving lion.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t eat turkey yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat caused the hangover?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt started Tuesday at work.\u00a0 About ten o\u2019clock a lady gave me two baked potatoes filled with ground beef, corn, onions, and lots of delectable but unidentifiable spices.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow could you finish both?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hadn\u2019t planned to but part of the potatoes must have been hollowed out since they felt quite light and went down fast.\u00a0 Then after my regular lunch\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it right there.\u00a0 You should\u2019ve compensated by skipping lunch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 Every day when the clock hits noon, I start salivating.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike Pavlov\u2019s dogs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but I still would\u2019ve been all right if another lady hadn\u2019t brought me a couple of pupusas that afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019re pupusas?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re kinda like two thick, soft, greasy tortillas, often made of pig skin, that have dynamite inside.\u00a0 In this case they were stuffed with hot frijoles.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou could\u2019ve said no thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I couldn\u2019t have.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose you had your regular dinner that evening.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight, but I recovered.\u00a0 A more serious problem started about one Wednesday afternoon.\u00a0 I got off work early and went to the deli.\u00a0 I promised my sister and her husband I\u2019d bring some incredible chicken and fruit salad for Thanksgiving Day.\u00a0 She was delighted because she didn\u2019t want to roast one of those messy turkeys.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t tell me…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cListen, I only bought a pound of baked breasts, sliced thin in the deli, and a couple pounds of fruit salad.\u00a0 Soon as I got out of the store I knew I was in trouble.\u00a0 But I tried.\u00a0 I grabbed my cell phone and called and told them I\u2019d come right over and we\u2019d have lunch.\u00a0 But they\u2019d already eaten and were going to see friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you simply put the food in the refrigerator until Thursday?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was hungry so I just had a slice or two of chicken and a few spoonfuls of fruit salad.\u00a0 Then I went to my computer and planned to spend the rest of the day working.\u00a0 And I did, except for occasionally stepping to the refrigerator.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ate three pounds of deli food for lunch,\u201d I scolded.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly all the chicken and half the fruit salad.\u00a0 At that point I had a poultry and sugar attack \u2013 they put so much whipped cream in those salads.\u00a0 I had to take a nap.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did your wife say?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe woke me when she got home from work, and I told her leave me alone.\u00a0 She\u2019s always been jealous of my naps.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you went back to the deli so you\u2019d have meat to take to your sister\u2019s,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo way.\u00a0 As I was finishing the rest of the fruit salad, I vowed to become a vegetarian.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll never stick to that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what you and everyone else said about alcohol.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThankfully, we\u2019ve been wrong about that, so far.\u00a0 Without meat and alcohol, you should\u2019ve been okay.\u201d
\n\u201cWell, they offered me nuts.\u00a0 Anything salty is impossible to stop eating, and I had several handfuls.\u00a0 The dinner itself was quite healthy \u2013 rice, green beans, cranberry sauce, salad, and bread.\u00a0 You can eat a lot of that stuff without serious consequences, and I wasn\u2019t sick after dinner.\u00a0 But they had to bring out dessert: cherry pie, apple strudel, ice cream, chocolate candy.\u00a0 I don\u2019t keep that junk in my house.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve could\u2019ve said no thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cQuit saying that.\u00a0 Only squares decline a feast.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many helpings did you have?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThree or four of each.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGlutton,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnorexic,\u201d he countered.<\/p>\n

He should\u2019ve also called me deceitful.\u00a0 Unbeknownst to everyone but my wife, who has forgone regular complaints due to my running several miles six days a week to maintain the vigor she requires, I\u2019m at least as much a pig as the sedentary Abernathy.\u00a0 At two a.m. I often swoop into the refrigerator and grab a slice of raw bacon, roll it up, and down it in a bite.\u00a0 Salami, large shrimp, cheese, and crackers are similarly disposed of while two chomps eliminate a cold hot dog.\u00a0 And, out in a hidden drawer in the garage, I horde cupcakes, half-moon pies, and cookies to eat when I\u2019m alone.\u00a0 Sometimes the crumbs attract my wife\u2019s notice; sometimes they attract ants.\u00a0 I spray the latter and tell the former I\u2019ll run ten miles tomorrow.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Friday morning after Thanksgiving Abernathy called from San Diego where he was unable to extricate himself from bed. \u201cGod,\u201d I said, \u201cyou\u2019ve haven\u2019t fallen off the wagon again.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m afraid I have.\u201d \u201cYou must accept you\u2019re an alcoholic and powerless under the influence of tequila.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m not talking about alcohol; I\u2019m talking food.\u201d \u201cStay off…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[307,308],"tags":[],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\nFood Overdose - George Thomas Clark<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/georgethomasclark.com\/food-overdose-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Food Overdose - George Thomas Clark\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Friday morning after Thanksgiving Abernathy called from San Diego where he was unable to extricate himself from bed. \u201cGod,\u201d I said, \u201cyou\u2019ve haven\u2019t fallen off the wagon again.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m afraid I have.\u201d \u201cYou must accept you\u2019re an alcoholic and powerless under the influence of tequila.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m not talking about alcohol; 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