Backed by a huge wall map, Vladimir Putin stands before a few trusted generals and advisors, and states, \u201cWe must regard my following strategic statements as top secret and essential to our survival.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tThey look attentively at their leader.<\/p>\n
\t\u201cOnce we\u2019ve captured all enemy territory on the Black Sea, we will subjugate Moldova and let the Romanians know they shouldn\u2019t be in NATO. And after I take Ukraine, however much of it I deem useful, we will again use Belarus as a staging area, this time to wave our sword in the faces of Poland, Lithuania, and Latvia while from our Motherland we menace the latter as well as Estonia.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cPlease, President Putin,\u201d says General Sergei Shoigu, the minister of defense, \u201cour battlefield losses, of equipment as well as men, preclude invading anyone soon, especially the larger and better armed NATO forces. Furthermore, if Belarus invades Ukraine, it could immediately become a target of NATO.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cAll of you surely know what the Americans and NATO fear: I\u2019d counterstrike them for any attack against our Belorussian comrades. Furthermore, I didn\u2019t say we were going to attack the aforementioned enemies. In effect, we\u2019d be sending them a message that we\u2019ll protect our vital strategic interests. Perhaps the subtleties escaped you. Rather than being insubordinate to me, concentrate on getting us weapons and vehicles that don\u2019t break down so often.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tPutin turns to the map, pokes it with his index finger, and pivots to say, \u201cFor the time being, we don\u2019t need to invade further west. We\u2019ll simply annex what is historically ours, Belarus, which needs our protection.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tLike a student, General Valery Gerasimov, chief of the general staff, raises a hand Putin ignores several seconds before saying, \u201cI\u2019ll take questions after you understand my next objectives. Having secured our western lines of defense, we will move south and absorb Georgia and Azerbaijan to seal off the Turks who could otherwise try to attack us through Armenia and those two hapless non-nations. We won\u2019t need to acquire any other territories.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cPresident Putin,\u201d says Gerasimov, raising his hand again. <\/p>\n
\t\u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cWe\u2019re absolutely unprepared to take and hold all of Ukraine and then grab Moldova and Belarus. NATO might well attack, especially if we try to conquer Georgia and Azerbaijan.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cAnd why are we unprepared, General? I\u2019ll tell you. It\u2019s because you failed to understand our logistical needs for what you assured me would be a quick operation in Ukraine. You also failed to understand the toughness of the Ukrainians. Keep in mind, all of you, that last night I ordered two incompetent FSB intelligence officers confined to their homes. Be assured, General, I\u2019ll soon be replacing you with a more capable man.\u201d <\/p>\n
\tGerasimov rises to attention and says, \u201cI\u2019d be delighted to give you my resignation any time you ask for it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cI\u2019ll let you know when you\u2019re through. In the meantime, and thereafter, keep your mouth shut.\u201d<\/p>\n