The Americans are eternal enemies striving to surround my cold and tattered but still great Russian Empire. Their latest lies can be read in a thousand places. Here I will simply cite a few of the most outrageous accusations from a recent Associated Press article. <\/p>\n
\tInstead of thanking me for pulling my troops back from otherwise doomed Kyiv, the imperialists and their Ukrainian gangsters claimed I \u201ctortured and strangled\u201d people and left their rotting bodies in \u201cbarrels and basements.\u201d My top advisors have already denounced these so-called atrocities as being \u201cstage-managed\u2026video forgery.\u201d Every honest person knows I ordered Russian forces of liberation to avoid striking civilian areas that were destroyed not by us but by Hollywood-inspired special effects. <\/p>\n
\tMy goal, and it has never been a secret, is to liberate our ethnic brothers and sisters in the Donbas from fascists who seek to repress them and dominate the resource-rich east of a non-nation that in fact has forever been an essential part of Mother Russia. Nevertheless, we weren\u2019t trying to take all of Ukraine or would have attacked with a much larger force reminiscent of the great Red Army juggernaut that crushed Nazi Germany. <\/p>\n
\tToday we simply want the Donbas to be free, and some of our soldiers and equipment are being moved from the Kyiv sector to the east where we have battered many enemies and will soon envelop them, and they should pray we do since I may then offer a ceasefire and, after negotiations, very generous peace terms: let the Donbas be independent but armed, let reduced Ukraine be independent and lightly armed, forget about Crimea, it\u2019s ours, and forget about ever joining NATO. You never will, and if I think you\u2019re trying to I\u2019ll storm back into Ukraine with far more soldiers and weapons and pull all our ancestral land back to the bosom of its Russian mother.<\/p>\n