\u201cBoys, it\u2019s great to be back.\u00a0 Too bad it\u2019s off season.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been anywhere since 1948, and I\u2019m ready to play.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBabe, have you had time to read Jose Canseco\u2019s book \u2018Juiced\u2019 that says eighty percent of major league baseball players used steroids?\u201d a reporter asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust finished it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you consider the new home run records tainted?\u201d said another reporter.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoney, don\u2019t cuss like that.\u00a0 And what\u2019re you doing in the locker room?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s common now, Babe,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn my day you wouldn\u2019t have come any place but my hotel suite.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust answer the question.\u00a0 Do you or do you not think the new home run records are legitimate?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo ma\u2019am.\u00a0 All home run records but mine are phony.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo you think Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds really did use steroids?\u201d asked a male reporter.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t get all that muscle drinking whiskey and smoking cigars.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBabe, today\u2019s players lift weights year round and go easy on the booze,\u201d said another male reporter.\u00a0 \u201cMany don\u2019t drink at all.\u00a0 And almost no one smokes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019re a bunch of old ladies.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBabe, you died at age fifty-three of throat cancer,\u201d said the female reporter.\u00a0 \u201cWon\u2019t you admit smoking\u2019s bad?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s talk baseball.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cHow can you criticize modern players for getting bigger when you also got a lot bigger?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t laugh, boys.\u00a0 This belly\u2019s natural.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you think of Canseco?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s painful thinking about him injecting steroids into McGwire\u2019s fanny.\u00a0 But they weren\u2019t the first.\u00a0 My manager, Miller Huggins, often did the same to Lou Gehrig.\u00a0 You don\u2019t think he could\u2019ve played in 2,130 consecutive games any other way, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe you\u2019re just jealous of Gehrig,\u201d said a male reporter.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat for?\u00a0 I was the star.\u00a0 Who talks about Gehrig?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLots of people,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cIn 1927, the year you hit 60 homers, Lou won the American League MVP.\u00a0 We know you guys didn\u2019t speak to each other for years.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot after I saw what he and Huggins were up to.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRoger Maris was certainly clean,\u201d said a male reporter.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot a chance.\u00a0 Maris had to have help to hit sixty-one home runs in 1961.\u00a0 He never had forty before or after that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHank Aaron didn\u2019t take steroids,\u201d the lady stated.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe sure did.\u00a0 Otherwise, he wouldn\u2019t have hit seven hundred fifty-five homers \u2013 forty-one more than yours truly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s absolutely no evidence Aaron ever used performance enhancing drugs,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cProve it.\u00a0 And look at Bonds.\u00a0 When he was thirty-seven he hit seventy-three homers, but hadn\u2019t come within twenty-five of that when he was young.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou jumped from twenty-nine homers one year to fifty-four the next season.\u201d the lady said.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was early in my career.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s still pretty damn suspicious.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou saying I took steroids?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe Gehrig injected them into your fat fanny,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me guarantee all of you \u2013 if I\u2019d taken steroids and lifted weights, I would\u2019ve hit at least 200 more homers and no one would\u2019ve ever come close.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah\u2026Damn right…Get \u2018em, Babe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m definitely coming back.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBabe, please, a couple more things,\u201d said the female reporter.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you think about McGwire\u2019s seventieth home run ball selling for three million dollars?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn 1998, my eightieth home run ball would\u2019ve gone for ten million.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd what about rumors you had some black ancestors, and maybe that\u2019s part of why you were so dominant and the only guy in major league history to be a star pitcher and hitter?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t be smart-alecky.\u00a0 Just get me Jose on the phone.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cBoys, it\u2019s great to be back.\u00a0 Too bad it\u2019s off season.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been anywhere since 1948, and I\u2019m ready to play.\u201d \u201cBabe, have you had time to read Jose Canseco\u2019s book \u2018Juiced\u2019 that says eighty percent of major league baseball players used steroids?\u201d a reporter asked. \u201cJust finished it.\u201d \u201cDo you consider the new…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[134,76,132],"tags":[],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\n