After hosting amorous boyfriend Sunday night and pounding treadmill half hour early Monday morning, popular high school math teacher Martha H drove to school, parked car, and walked toward class, confident she\u2019d have another great week. She sneezed after shutting car door, and nose and sinuses had tickly, cleaned out feeling that became more pleasurable when she sneezed again few seconds later and one more time before unlocking classroom door. <\/p>\n
\tMartha put purse on desk, turned on computer, and placed attendance sign-in sheet by door, and sneezed on paper and then, before she could cover face, splattered glass door. She noted nose getting more ticklish than desired so pressed firm index finger underneath but sneezed as three students entered.<\/p>\n
\t\u201cBless you, Ms. H,\u201d girl said.<\/p>\n
\tMartha removed finger and in middle of \u201cThanks\u201d sneezed again. She nodded at smiling students, and after turning and opening file drawer, next blast almost propelled her head onto cabinet. She spun, about to rebuke for laughing, but quick double-sneeze forced to scurry back to desk and grab tissue into which she blew something unpleasant. <\/p>\n
\tProblem remained unresolved, however, and Martha continued to sneeze several times minute as class filled up. She still persevered and wrote opening math problems on board. Attempt to introduce material was preempted by loudest sneeze yet. She waved for students to begin.
\n\t\u201cYou want us to call 911, Ms. H?\u201d asked boy.<\/p>\n
\tMartha responded with triple-sneeze and then waved at phone, gasping: \u201cOffice.\u201d Dutiful boy picked up classroom phone.<\/p>\n
\tMartha sat at computer and, between achoos, Googled \u201cworld record sneezing\u201d and read first entry, by guy who noted sister sometimes sneezed three hundred times per hour and, when on roll, cranked out thousand in five hours. Mathematician didn\u2019t want anecdotes. She searched for Guinness Book of World Records but was too distressed to find exact site and settled for someone who quoted Guinness: in January 1981 Donna G began to sneeze and did so almost three thousands times daily, or about hundred twenty times hour, totaling one million sneezes first year. Thereafter, pace slowed during nine hundred seventy-eight days attack persisted.<\/p>\n
\tMr. L, principal, ran in and put arm around Martha, who sneezed in face and said, \u201cI\u2019ll kill before three years.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
After hosting amorous boyfriend Sunday night and pounding treadmill half hour early Monday morning, popular high school math teacher Martha H drove to school, parked car, and walked toward class, confident she\u2019d have another great week. She sneezed after shutting car door, and nose and sinuses had tickly, cleaned out feeling that became more pleasurable…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[195,809,118,172,128,857,903,130],"tags":[],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\n