I didn\u2019t panic at all, not at first. We tourists at the Museo Casa de Purgatorio in Guanajuato simply followed the guide behind stone walls into a dim room where he said, \u201cHere, ladies and gentlemen, we have a traditional stockade used to harness drunks and teach them discipline. Sir, would you like the give this a try.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tThe smiling young fellow stepped up and bent over, and the guide raised a board, comprising the top half of three wooden holes, for head and hands, and eased him into the stockade and locked it. <\/p>\n
\t\u201cNow over here, if you please, note that we have a strong iron chastity belt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cJust a minute. My husband,\u201d said a lady, pointing to the sober drunkard.<\/p>\n
\t\u201cTry this on madam.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cI will not.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tAbout ten large young assistants rushed in. Two lifted her while another slid the belt over and up her legs and locked it into place.<\/p>\n
\tWe laughed, a little uneasily, at this elaborate jest. <\/p>\n
\t\u201cSay, a little rough there, aren\u2019t we,\u201d said a middle-aged man, aiming his index finger at the guide. He nodded at guards who picked the fellow up and carried him to a bench, bound him there, and held his hands on the table. The guide placed a long, low iron device in front of the protester and said, \u201cSee those eight holes, one for each finger. Nothing for your thumbs but that\u2019s a design flaw forgivable four centuries ago in Europe where all these marvels came from.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tWhen the man\u2019s digits were shoved through the holes, a small wheel turned, slowly crushing bones as he shrieked.<\/p>\n
\tPeople rushed for exits but found only barred doors and frowning men.<\/p>\n
\t\u201cI suppose there won\u2019t be any more volunteers, so I\u2019ll just choose. Ma\u2019am, I think this next one\u2019s just right.\u201d <\/p>\n
\tTwo assistants lifted the screaming lady and carried her to a large round wooden board and manacled both wrists above her head in V-formation and secured her ankles below in an inverted-V. \u201cAnd now we spin the wheel,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
\t\u201cOh, god,\u201d was the last intelligible sound she made. <\/p>\n
\tThe guide put on a steel helmet armed with a unicorn-like steel penetrator and cornered an older gentleman, jabbing him then stabbing with the spike, forcing him onto a wooden seat where assistants tied him and began drilling his back with a long rusty spike through the back of the chair. Imagine the poor man\u2019s distress. <\/p>\n
\t\u201cStep into the courtyard, if you please. Here we offer a patient man the opportunity to confess. I know, you\u2019ve done nothing, but pretend. You, there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tHe was pointing at me. I charged and could have taken him one on one but it was four on one, at least, who tossed me onto my back on a thick wooden table and manacled ankles and wrists. <\/p>\n
\t\u201cLet\u2019s start this pendulum and watch the blade slowly descend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tLike a half-moon razor five-feet long, the blade began swinging. Unlike some of my comrades, I at the moment suffered little physical pain but stress was severe.<\/p>\n
\t\u201cI\u2019m confident you know what this is, a quite primitive gallows lacking a fancy platform and trapdoor. We really don\u2019t need those niceties. This wooden frame, a profound rectangle, is sturdy enough to hold the noose and any man in it.\u201d<\/p>\n
The tourists revolted, and from my table I saw them swinging fists and purses against axes and swords, and soon they either desisted or died. <\/p>\n
\u201cSince none of my men suffered injury during your insipid escape attempt, I shall be generous and forgo hanging this elderly lady by her neck and do so by her hands.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re incomparable beasts,\u201d I shouted.<\/p>\n
\u201cSir, I believe our blade may be too good for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Several assistants pulled, carried, and pushed me to a charred vertical wooden stake around which my hands were pulled back and secured and then my feet. <\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re no better than ISIS,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
\u201cNor are those who bomb and fire missiles.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I didn\u2019t panic at all, not at first. We tourists at the Museo Casa de Purgatorio in Guanajuato simply followed the guide behind stone walls into a dim room where he said, \u201cHere, ladies and gentlemen, we have a traditional stockade used to harness drunks and teach them discipline. Sir, would you like the give…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1261,1183,33,84,1256],"tags":[],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\n