Don\u2019t ever go to a joint with a blockhouse john out front where they make you pay to pee and tip a mournful woman handing out tissues as you enter. I should leave especially after I see the ticket line four or five wide and long as two football fields. I\u2019m not going to wait to enter the Museum of the Mummies in Guanajuato. I march up front and say, \u201cHow much?\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cSe\u00f1or, you must start at the end of the line.\u201d <\/p>\n
\t\u201cCome on, Jovencita.\u201d I press a thousand-peso bill, about eighty bucks, into her soft hand. She nods and I walk in.<\/p>\n
\tOkay, what the hell happened here? There was a cholera attack in 1833 and survivors quickly buried the dead to limit the spread of disease and sometimes buried those still living, supposedly by accident, but I bet not always. I\u2019d like to ask little Ignacia Aguilar, found face down and biting her arm with a bloody mouth, but she doesn\u2019t respond to my shoulder tap. Her guilty parents must be watching. <\/p>\n
I\u2019ll talk to others. These hundred or so people are in pretty damn good shape, considering. Inherent characteristics of the soil mummified and preserved them. Who shall I start with? Better be careful. Frankly, they\u2019re a bunch of lunatics. <\/p>\n
\t\u201cJust relax, folks. Damn near every one of you\u2019s screaming.\u201d <\/p>\n
\t\u201cWe\u2019re not screaming, fool,\u201d says a man with the biggest mouth ever. \u201cOur damn lips have rotted away.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tI walk on and ask, \u201cSir, why did they strangle you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cThey didn\u2019t, idiot friend. The wire around my neck\u2019s what holds me up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tI move and say, \u201cHello, ma\u2019am. When\u2019s the baby due?\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cHe\u2019s better off inside me. Look over there at the smallest mummy in the world.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cIncredibly small child.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cIt\u2019s the fetus from a woman like me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tI see some dead kids but mostly adults who I still say are screaming while they pray or clutch themselves or ponder the universe. Some have hair that could use a shampoo but most are bald. Some are lying down while most are standing. They may not be exactly alive but they\u2019re not exactly dead either.<\/p>\n
\t\u201cYou mummies are strange,\u201d I say, and head for the exit but the exit\u2019s not there. The other visitors have also disappeared. \u201cWhat the hell?\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cThis isn\u2019t hell,\u201d says little Ignacia Aguilar. \u201cIt\u2019s your new home.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Don\u2019t ever go to a joint with a blockhouse john out front where they make you pay to pee and tip a mournful woman handing out tissues as you enter. I should leave especially after I see the ticket line four or five wide and long as two football fields. I\u2019m not going to wait…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1279,1261,33,1280],"tags":[],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\n