After Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu\u2019s most recent sermon to the Congress of the United States, he marched into his palatial D.C. hotel suite where Saddam Hussein romped with several robust young women. The political titans excused their guests and bodyguards, and this conversation, preserved by a Mossad recording device, followed: <\/p>\n
\tBenjamin Netanyahu \u2013 What the hell are you doing here, and who are these women?<\/p>\n
\tSaddam Hussein \u2013 Bibi, these ladies speak only English and Hebrew, so I shall ask you: who are they?<\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 Out. <\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 Not until we\u2019ve discussed matters of strategic urgency. I\u2019m sickened that you speak of imminent Iranian nuclear arms the same way in 2002 you lied about my inevitable access to world-withering nukes. Here, take a look at yourself on the flat screen. You\u2019ve put on a few pounds.<\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 You\u2019re hardly the ultimate specimen. And for your edification, I wasn\u2019t lying. Like President George W. Bush, your conqueror, I was bamboozled by faulty intelligence.<\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 Before further examining your exercise in exaggeration, let me congratulate you for deft political maneuvering. While Israeli housing prices skyrocket, forcing most young people to rent, and the Palestinians suffer under eternal occupation made worse by ever more illegal settlements, you\u2019ve forced people around the world to focus on your assertion that Iran and the Ayatollah Ali Khamenei are the Nazi Germany and Adolf Hitler of the twenty-first century.<\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 Thank you for acknowledging I used politics to shape public perceptions. You never swayed anyone without hammer and fist. Furthermore, I have no doubt, and neither do most civilized people, that \u2013 had you possessed them \u2013 you would have used nuclear weapons against Israel.<\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 Many a military blunder I\u2019ve made, Bibi, but never would I have tried to nuke a nation armed with one or two hundred existential warheads. And have you forgotten, I was backed in the eighties by the righteous United States, your eternal benefactor, during my courageous war against the satanic hordes of the Ayatollah Khomeini.<\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 You started that war, and hundreds of thousands died on both sides.<\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 Your sole regret, I\u2019m sure, is that our mutual casualties didn\u2019t soar into the millions.<\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 I resent that.<\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 That our casualties weren\u2019t higher? <\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 I exaggerate not a whit in asserting you would\u2019ve been Hitler, or your hero Stalin, if you\u2019d wielded their power.<\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 What a man of steel, that Stalin. He certainly wouldn\u2019t have tolerated a renegade Jewish state, or any other carnivorous entity, in his sphere of influence. <\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 So you acknowledge your intrinsic evil.<\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 I played by the rules in my time and in my region. Now, back to you, Bibi. I hold the transcript of your speech tonight, and note you\u2019re still quite the ass-kisser. Much insincere praise for your political adversary, Barack Obama. Praise for the Congress. Thanks to America. Warm feelings for your \u201cfriends\u201d who filled the legislative chamber. <\/p>\n
\tWhat did you offer them? The most specious history lesson I\u2019ve heard. Twenty-five hundred years ago a Persian named Haman \u201cplotted to destroy the Jewish people.\u201d And today you claim, \u201cThe Jewish people face another attempt by yet another Persian potentate to destroy us.\u201d <\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 The Ayatollah Khamenei, as I noted, \u201cspews the oldest hatred of anti-Semitism with the newest technology. He tweets that Israel must be annihilated.\u201d <\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 Khamenei\u2019s not my favorite, either, but in his behalf I must explain he\u2019s not talking about the physical destruction of Israel but the political dismantling of the brutal Zionist state.<\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 He knows there can be no dismantling of the Jewish state without destroying us, and he\u2019s dreaming that anyone in this region can do so. That\u2019s why he craves nuclear weapons.<\/p>\n
\tSA \u2013 Then why are your three intelligence chiefs publicly convinced that Iranians are rational and have no wish to be involved in nuclear self-annihilation? <\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 They\u2019re wrong and I\u2019m right.<\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 No, they\u2019re not soon running for reelection and you are.<\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 My reelection bid is irrelevant, and only a crass and cynical man would suggest otherwise. <\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 And only the most egregious of liars would blame Iran \u201cfor killing and maiming thousands of American service men and women in Iraq and Afghanistan.\u201d American lives were lost in Iraq because, in 2003 and thereafter, we and our allies resisted criminal aggression. <\/p>\n
\tYou\u2019re also quite slippery in your Hitler metaphor that \u201cIran is busy gobbling up nations.\u201d Iran has gobbled up no one. It has occasionally struck in ways you call terroristic but were far less bloody and sustained than U.S. assaults on the civilian populations of Iraq and Vietnam. <\/p>\n
\tAs I stressed, you can\u2019t fool your own intelligence chiefs about Iranian intentions and projected capabilities, and you\u2019re certainly not hoodwinking many others, outside the U.S. Congress. You say the current multinational negotiation, which involves China and Russia, is a bad deal that \u201cwould leave Iran with a vast nuclear infrastructure, providing it with a short break-out time to the bomb.\u201d <\/p>\n
\tIn fact, Bibi, these facilities would be closely monitored by the United States and other powers, and Iranian compliance would be enforced. If there is no deal, then there will be no surveillance cameras, no inspections, and no verification. Admit it. You don\u2019t want Iran to have its own domestic nuclear program, which the Non-Proliferation Treaty entitles it to. By the way, why didn\u2019t Israel sign the NPT? <\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 Israel is above discussion of such matters. I want my nation and my people to survive. I acknowledged that the current deal would impose restrictions \u201con Iran\u2019s nuclear program and Iran\u2019s adherence to those restrictions would be supervised by international inspectors.\u201d But that\u2019s not good enough. \u201cInspectors document violations, they don\u2019t stop them. Inspectors knew when North Korea broke to the bomb, but that didn\u2019t stop anything.\u201d And even if Iran complied now, it would be free to \u201chide and cheat\u201d in ten years.<\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 In regard to nuclear weapons, Israel is without peer in hiding and cheating.<\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 Only to deter aggression. We\u2019ve never used nuclear weapons.<\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 For that, I must commend you.<\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 I ask only three things of Iran, which by and large is comprised of great people. \u201cFirst, stop its aggression against its neighbors in the Middle East. Second, stop supporting terrorism around the world. And third, stop threatening to annihilate my country.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 Bibi, I think Iran would agree to those terms if Israel stops repressing Gaza and the West Bank. A less aggressive Israel would undercut complaints of adversaries throughout the Arab and Persian worlds. <\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 Saddam, may I speak confidentially? <\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 But of course.<\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 I just don\u2019t think Arabs and Persians can be trusted, not after thousands of years of perfidy. <\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 We have no reason to trust Israel and its annexationist regime.<\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 We seek only peace and harmony in a troubled world.<\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 I\u2019ll help you forge the deal. My influence is still great. <\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 Do you swear you wouldn\u2019t have attacked Israel if you\u2019d had nukes?<\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 I solemnly swear.<\/p>\n
\tBN \u2013 Nevertheless, I fear you want a nuclear arms race in the Middle East.<\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 Absolutely untrue. <\/p>\n
BN \u2013 Let\u2019s leave it there for now. <\/p>\n
\tSH \u2013 Where have you hidden the ladies?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
After Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu\u2019s most recent sermon to the Congress of the United States, he marched into his palatial D.C. hotel suite where Saddam Hussein romped with several robust young women. The political titans excused their guests and bodyguards, and this conversation, preserved by a Mossad recording device, followed: Benjamin Netanyahu \u2013 What the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[218,419,139,3,113,167,39,247],"tags":[],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\n