In a startling (and heretofore unreported) miscalculation in security planning last week at the United Nations in New York, secret service agents led a rapidly-departing President George W. Bush right into the exit path of the man he most loves to talk about but least wants to talk to, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran.<\/p>\n
President Bush \u2013 I\u2019m gonna kick someone\u2019s ass about this.\u00a0 Just keep going.<\/p>\n
President Ahmadinejad \u2013 <\/strong>Sir, did you read my speech at Columbia yesterday?<\/p>\n PB \u2013 Of course not.\u00a0 But I heard the head of the university, who should be fired for inviting you, at least felt enough heat to introduce you by calling you a \u201cpetty and cruel dictator\u201d and demanding \u2013 as I have \u2013 that you answer for the crackdown on scholars and journalists and anyone else who disagrees with you.\u00a0 He also dared you to explain all those public executions.\u00a0 In my country, we kill people in private.<\/p>\n But what burns me most is that you keep pursuing nuclear weapons, and denying the Holocaust and calling for the destruction of Israel, and you\u2019re killing Americans in Iraq by giving them sophisticated explosives.<\/p>\n PA \u2013 I\u2019m tired of being harangued by self-righteous Americans.\u00a0 But I can politely assure you, President Bush, that we don\u2019t treat our detainees any more harshly than you handle yours at Guantanamo Bay or Abu Ghraib.<\/p>\n PB \u2013 We\u2019ve been holding terrorists who murdered American civilians.<\/p>\n PA \u2013 Then why were they held incommunicado?\u00a0 If there was evidence against them, why wasn\u2019t it presented and the accused brought to trial?\u00a0 In fact, many were being detained without evidence or formal charges.<\/p>\n PB \u2013 Why are you arresting journalists?\u00a0 You\u2019re obviously afraid of people who write the truth about you and your regime?<\/p>\n PA \u2013 No, we aren\u2019t.\u00a0 In Iran we\u2019re a gentle and cultured people who respect every individual\u2019s privacy.\u00a0 So we\u2019re appalled by your wiretapping of innocent American civilians.<\/p>\n And regarding executions, you\u2019ve already acknowledged that your country has capital punishment.\u00a0 We also have the right to execute those who commit serious crimes, like trafficking in drugs.<\/p>\n PB \u2013 You gotta be an idiot to deny the Holocaust happened.\u00a0 The documentation is overwhelming.<\/p>\n PA \u2013 I\u2019m merely quoting certain European academics who\u2019ve been tossed into prison for questioning the premise.\u00a0 Like all essential matters, it should be researched on a continuing basis, and from a different perspective.<\/p>\n PB \u2013 Those European deniers are crackpots and you\u2019re an anti-Semite.<\/p>\n PA \u2013 Nonsense.\u00a0 There are many Jews who live quite securely in Iran.\u00a0 I support them.\u00a0 And, at least for a minute, let us say that the Holocaust is a fact.\u00a0 The tragedy took place in Europe.\u00a0 How then did it become the problem of the Palestinian people, who had nothing to do with the Holocaust?\u00a0 For sixty years they\u2019ve suffered as their land was stolen, their liberties crushed, and tens of thousands killed.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because in the 1940\u2019s there was a Holocaust in Europe?<\/p>\n I simply say this: let the Palestinians decide their future in a referendum.\u00a0 Let them determine what kind of nation they want.\u00a0 Nobody should interfere in their affairs and \u201cnobody should spend tens of billions of dollars equipping and arming one group there.\u201d<\/p>\n PB \u2013 And nobody should be sending explosives and technicians to Iraq to kill Americans.\u00a0 I might have to stop the people who\u2019re doing that.<\/p>\n PA \u2013 Iranians aren\u2019t afraid of your threats.\u00a0 But the American people are frightened because of the \u201cinsecure psychological atmosphere (you\u2019ve created) in order to justify warmongering… (and establish) a monopoly over science and prevent other nations from achieving scientific developments as well.\u201d<\/p>\n PB \u2013 We want you to progress scientifically, and we\u2019re ready to help you do so, but only for peaceful purposes.<\/p>\n PA \u2013 That\u2019s what we\u2019ve been doing.\u00a0 Iran has no need of a nuclear weapon.\u00a0 The International Atomic Energy Commission has verified this.<\/p>\n PB \u2013 That\u2019s what\u2019s so scary about you, your self-delusion.\u00a0 In fact, the IAEA has verified that Iran, in violation of international law, has been secretly accumulating nuclear materials that point to a weapons program.\u00a0 And, partner, I\u2019m telling you the United States and Israel aren\u2019t going to allow that.<\/p>\n PA \u2013 Israel has scores of atomic weapons.\u00a0 And, for your edification, the unprovoked and deceitful U.S. invasion of Iraq violated international law.<\/p>\n PB \u2013 I make the rules for the benefit of the American people.\u00a0 And, for your information, the Israelis have never used their atomic weapons.\u00a0 If the Arab states and Iran had a nuclear monopoly, imagine what would\u2019ve happened to Israel.<\/p>\n PA \u2013 That\u2019s a sham.\u00a0 We Iranians haven\u2019t spent decades attacking countries.\u00a0 Your country has.\u00a0 And that explains why you and your allies insist on having the only atomic weapons in the Middle East.<\/p>\n PB \u2013 I thought you didn\u2019t want a weapon.<\/p>\n PA \u2013 We don\u2019t.<\/p>\n PB \u2013 Great.\u00a0 Let the inspectors in, with no restrictions.\u00a0 Then our nations can start building a friendship.<\/p>\n PA \u2013 Wonderful.\u00a0 I invite you to visit Iran, as soon as your troops leave Iraq.<\/p>\n PB \u2013 You just don\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In a startling (and heretofore unreported) miscalculation in security planning last week at the United Nations in New York, secret service agents led a rapidly-departing President George W. Bush right into the exit path of the man he most loves to talk about but least wants to talk to, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran. President…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,19,140,84,167,114,83,205],"tags":[],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\n