Right, I\u2019m the gatekeeper now. Of course, in my case, that\u2019s with a lower case g. The Big Guy says with the world\u2019s population increasing so fast he\u2019s got to turn the job over to someone else and tend to running this place. My instructions are pretty clear: don\u2019t let in any bad guys, you know, murderers, rapists, robbers. He also said keep out the worst bureaucrats since they assault too many souls. I just interview people who worked with them. It\u2019s pretty easy finding out who to exclude. Couple days ago I had the easiest choice in years. I opened the gates when he was a mile away and clapped when he entered. Yeah, maybe I shouldn\u2019t act like a Yankee fan but I am and asked for his autograph. <\/p>\n
He said, \u201cSure, kid, what\u2019s your name,\u201d and signed my baseball: \u201cTo Joe, Heaven\u2019s a great place. Yogi Berra.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cBy the way, where\u2019s the ball game?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019ll be one tonight,\u201d I said. <\/p>\n
\u201cThink they\u2019ll have a place for me in the lineup?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s see, a three-time MVP who played catcher and hit three hundred fifty-eight homers and had countless clutch hits while being the heart of a record ten World Series champions, yeah, I guess they can find a spot for you. Behind the plate. None of that left field stuff. Most guys don\u2019t like to catch.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m ready. Say, haven\u2019t I seen that guy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, that\u2019s Winston.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWinston, you playing tonight?\u201d Yogi asked. <\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll be smoking cigars and drinking champagne before and during dinner and thereafter sipping brandy. I have no time for children\u2019s activities, especially those emanating from our North American colony.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLiving like that, I\u2019m surprised you\u2019re living.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPerhaps you\u2019d like to do a little verbal battle,\u201d Winston said.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, as long as it doesn\u2019t involve knives.\u201d<\/p>\n
Winston cleared his throat and expelled more phlegm than you care to know.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is no time for ease and comfort,\u201d he said. \u201cIt is time to dare and endure.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu all over again,\u201d Yogi countered.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt ain\u2019t over till it\u2019s over.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe price of greatness is responsibility,\u201d said Winston.<\/p>\n
\u201cI usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSuccess is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen you come to a fork in the road, take it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf we have a quarrel between past and present we shall lose the future.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe future ain\u2019t what it used to be.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTo improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn baseball, you don\u2019t know nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNever in the field of human endeavor have so many owed so much to so few.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m a lucky guy and I\u2019m happy to be with the Yankees. And I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI may be drunk, (Sir), but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI may be ugly. I never saw anyone hit with his face.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can always count on the Americans to do the right thing \u2013 after they\u2019ve tried everything else.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe made too many wrong mistakes,\u201d Yogi said. <\/p>\n
\u201cI like your incisive comments, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, but I don\u2019t think I cussed that much.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou would\u2019ve been a marvelous military officer in our battle of survival against the Huns.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was only a machine gunner on a boat killing Germans on D-Day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s drink to that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, after the game.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sources \u2013 These quotes, the ones that really are quotes, can be found many places. I got most of the Yogisms from the New York Post and the Churchillisms from BrainyQuote.com. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Right, I\u2019m the gatekeeper now. Of course, in my case, that\u2019s with a lower case g. The Big Guy says with the world\u2019s population increasing so fast he\u2019s got to turn the job over to someone else and tend to running this place. My instructions are pretty clear: don\u2019t let in any bad guys, you…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[127,76,393,15,777,648,20,1428],"tags":[],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\n