\u201cI\u2019m in charge of Altiplano prison, Chapo, and didn\u2019t come here because you asked. Or did you think you ordered me? Remember, the director who preceded me, and helped you escape, is locked in a nearby cell and will doubtless be incarcerated the rest of his life, as will you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cOf course, comandante. I\u2019m honored to meet you. I simply want to know why I can\u2019t have my old cell back.\u201d <\/p>\n
\t\u201cConsider yourself fortunate. My sharpshooters are stationed at your infamous bathroom entrance as well as the warehouse exit.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cAll I want is a peaceful life.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cWe guarantee that. Every time you scratch yourself, our motion detectors feel it. Every time you breathe, our elite Chapo Dogs detect no body odor but yours.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cYou have my word as a gentleman. I won\u2019t try to escape again.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cYou\u2019ll sooner be tall than free of this place. We\u2019ve already installed a few hundred new surveillance cameras and plan to add several hundred more. As for your tunneling, don\u2019t bother. We\u2019ve embedded steel rods in all floors where you\u2019ll be.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cWhere will I be, comandante? A man needs to feel at home.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cYou\u2019ve never had a home, scurrying through mountains and tunnels and safe houses that weren\u2019t so safe. Be thankful: here you won\u2019t have to run. We\u2019ll continue moving you to a different cell every day, if not more often, and I won\u2019t decide where you\u2019re going until shortly before the move.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cWherever I am, I want my privacy respected.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cWe respected your potty last time. Now we record every sound you make and film every movement. I hope you appreciate the cameras mounted on my helmeted guards.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cTurn those off when I have visitors.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cYou\u2019re not going to have many visitors, Chapo. We see no need to promote your social life.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cWe\u2019d only discuss making a movie about my life.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cOn the rare occasions we do grant a visitor, he\u2019ll have to pass through two checkpoints and then face two battle-ready tanks.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cThat\u2019s very thorough, comandante. I assume your family is just as well protected.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cI\u2019m in charge of Altiplano prison, Chapo, and didn\u2019t come here because you asked. Or did you think you ordered me? Remember, the director who preceded me, and helped you escape, is locked in a nearby cell and will doubtless be incarcerated the rest of his life, as will you.\u201d \u201cOf course, comandante. I\u2019m honored…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[932,34,33,7,10,337],"tags":[],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\n