In a sealed room somewhere bombs can’t be heard, Vladimir Putin, standing by his chair, points to a table long as a bowling lane, and says, “Please sit down.”

Volodymyr Zelensky stations himself at one end and Putin the other.

“Welcome, President Zelensky. I trust you had a comfortable trip. As you know, I guaranteed your safety.”

“Someday you’ll pay for what you’ve done to our people and beautiful cities.”

Like an imperious schoolmaster, Putin says, “You brought this on yourself. I shouldn’t have had to pacify your neo-nazi nation.”

Zelensky’s features tighten.

“You’re a man without a shred of decency. My nation posed no threat to Russia. Your unprovoked attack is contrary to international law.”

“That’s the tragic naivete of a comedian who believed the applause and thought he could lead a nation.”

“I won a democratic election. That’s why I’m president.”

“You’re president because you won a dance contest and told jokes on TV. And now you’re a sensation on social media.”

“The people voted for me, overwhelmingly. You can’t say the same.”

“I certainly can. Even polls in the West prove I’m overwhelmingly popular in Russia.”

“Then why do you jail your most articulate and capable opponents? Why do you suppress the media inside Russia?”

Extending a hard palm toward Zelensky, Putin says, “We’re not here to discuss that. You should’ve listened to what I’ve many times said. We’re not going to tolerate Ukraine joining NATO.”

“If we’d been in NATO you wouldn’t be in Ukraine.”

“In fact, I might not have had to intervene if you and NATO hadn’t forever sought to put us in strategically vulnerable positions.”

Aiming an index finger at Putin, Zelensky says, “All of Europe considers you a mortal threat. The United States, too.”

“Don’t point at me.”

Zelensky starts jabbing his finger.

“Can’t the tough KGB judo man handle dissent? Even peaceful disagreement was too much for you, so you attack our hospitals and schools and churches, you attack our apartments and stores and restaurants. And – are you clinically insane – you’ve just attacked a nuclear power plant.”

“The responsibility for all that is yours, but you don’t understand that.”

“I know what all Ukrainians feel, that we’re free and would rather die than again have the Soviet boot on our necks.”

Looking tired and tense as the man at the other end of the table, Putin says, “Many of you are dying, and far more will certainly perish as I tire of this senseless resistance and start using more and larger explosives to teach you about the real world. In that regard, President Zelensky, I should emphasize that your chances of surviving are quite poor and worsening by the moment.”

“I’m ready to die, President Putin. How about you? No, your life isn’t on the line, not yet.”

“You and your government will fall in two or three weeks.”

Zelensky scoffs.

“I thought your conquest was supposed to be completed in two or three days.”

“You’re cut off and can’t survive long.”

“I cry for my brothers and sisters, but I also feel for tens of thousands of Russians who’ll perish because they believed your tales of being warmly welcomed. Instead, we’re like the Russians at Stalingrad defending themselves against the Nazis.”

Putin shakes his head and says, “The Battle of Kyiv will soon be over.”

“You don’t believe that. All your generals can’t be lackeys. They’ve told you that from our scorched buildings and behind the rubble our brave soldiers and citizens will shoot every Russian. They’ll blow up your vehicles. They’ll destroy your tanks. They’ll shoot down your planes and helicopters. You Russians proudly called Stalingard the Graveyard of the Wehrmacht. I tell you today, Sir, that Kyiv will soon become the Graveyard of Putin’s Army. And not just in Kyiv, in scores of cities and towns around our aroused nation. We’ll also attack you on the open roads. We’ll attack from behind trees. We’ll set upon you from the hills and mountains. We’ll send so many body bags back to Russia that your people will learn the truth, and when they do they’ll remove you from office. That won’t be pleasant. There aren’t many retired dictators.”

Swinging his arm at the door, Putin shouts, “Get your ass out of here.”

This is a series of stories about the Russo-Ukrainian War