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Eddie Hart’s Quest to be the Fastest

August 10, 2007

Since his youth in the schoolyard, where he always outran other kids to the finish line, Eddie Hart dreamed of someday becoming the Fastest Man in the World.  It is one of the most respected titles in sports – requiring a raw display of unequivocal athleticism – and rivals the significance (though not the celebrity)…

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A World of Protests in Mexico City

August 7, 2007

“To the Museum of Modern Art, please,” I told the taxi driver. “I can’t go there.  The street’s closed.” “Paseo de la Reforma?” “That’s right.” “What’s going on?” “A big demonstration.” “What are they protesting?” “Don’t know.  I can’t keep track of all the protests.” “Please drive as close as you can, and I’ll walk…

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The Ant versus the Spider

July 25, 2007

Harold’s apartment was small and messy.  He hadn’t vacuumed the faded green carpet in weeks and its odor suggested dampness and rot.  Even more distressing, books new and worn, tall and short, hardcover and paperback huddled in too many bookshelves, and papers were strewn all over a large drafting board, and all that was a…

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Rev. Al Sharpton in the Pulpit

July 3, 2007

Later on we’ll talk about Al Sharpton the bold political activist and brazen race baiter, the man who strives to build communities and the one who’s addicted to public controversy.  Right now it’s Sunday morning and none of that matters.  Reverend Al has come to Bakersfield and is somewhere in the church.  The pews are…

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Shah of Iran Comments on the Nuclear Nation

June 25, 2007

Why would I be bitter the Americans deserted me?  I suppose they felt I hadn’t done enough.  During World War II, after the British forced my anachronistic father to leave the throne and installed me, I opened a vital Persian Corridor for Anglo-American supplies Russia used to defeat the Nazis.  In the 1950’s I again…

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Russian President Vladimir Putin Addresses the American People

June 16, 2007

I have been trying to communicate with the citizens of the United States of America.   As president of the world’s largest and second most dangerously armed nation, I believe what I have to say about foreign affairs and U.S.-Russian relations should interest the wealthiest and most powerful people on earth.  But I’m having trouble getting…

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Fidel Castro Announces his Comeback

June 12, 2007

A little less than a year ago my imperialist enemies were prancing in the streets of Mafia Miami as they celebrated the imminence of my death, many even claiming I was already gone.  We can tell you now that I really was about dead.   I had one, two, three and more intestinal operations, all unsuccessful,…

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A Jewish Girl in Nazi Germany

May 16, 2007

During the Los Angeles Book Fair at UCLA in late April, sun-splattered readers roamed by the thousands, and scores stopped by Tent 106 to talk to three other authors and me about our books.  Mine is called Hitler Here.  It’s a biographical novel, and the cover bears a menacing, pencil portrait of the man in…

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Mexican Society Under Attack

May 9, 2007

I can’t offer you my byline or a dateline for this column, and I wouldn’t describe the scene outside my window even if the drapes were open. They’ve been closed a long time in Mexico, and I don’t think that’ll change soon. I’ve got to stay quiet and out of sight, two things a journalist…

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The Nightmare of Cho Seung-Hui

April 24, 2007

As a boy I couldn’t talk much and didn’t like it when people spoke to me.  I ignored them if I could.  They should’ve kept away; I hated their hugs and kisses.  I wanted to be alone in a desolate world.  When my older sister did not understand that, I’d hit her hard.  My parents…

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Chimpanzee Discusses Weapons Making

February 28, 2007

As Chief of Chimpanzees, I have the duty to assure our closest genetic cousins, and most unrelenting enemies – human beings – that though we chimps are developing weapons, we are not doing so to attack the kings of the earth.  Despite their paranoid nature, humans, I am certain, will believe me.  Their arsenals of…

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African American Activist Denounces Hate Crimes Trial

February 9, 2007

I hope you’ve been reading about the typical white racist attempt to just about lynch those ten black juveniles, including nine girls, falsely accused of stomping three young white women outside a haunted house last Halloween night in Long Beach, California.  When they were surrounded by a group of taunting, crotch-grabbing African Americans, the white…

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