Archive for 2013
Kim Jong Un Executes Girlfriend
I am physical and spiritual protector of nation and that’s only reason I ordered execution of ex-girlfriend and eleven other preserve members of orchestras I’d trusted to honorably entertain citizens. This has nothing to do with wife, former member of same orchestra, being jealous. This has nothing to do with immoral singer saying I’m fat…
Read MoreTeacher Patrimony
I teach Spanish in Mexico City, math in Morelos, history in Guadalajara. Father passed his job to me as Grandfather had to him. We’re educators. We don’t need government bureaucrats to hire and evaluate us with standardized tests. We’re evaluating them, wearing masks and waving sticks and lying in streets, snarling traffic and leaving kids…
Read MoreKerry Challenges Assad
We have unassailable evidence Bashar al-Assad gassed Syrian civilians in vile attempt to retain stranglehold on country. What we don’t have is war-winning military option. Americans don’t want to fight in Syria and neither do allies. It’s therefore incumbent on me, as decorated and oft-wounded warrior, to stand up and challenge Assad to hand-to-hand combat.…
Read MoreAssad Gas Company
Obama has red line between eyes that means I can use gas whenever. I don’t want to every day, only when I need to. Sometimes I need to gas children and other sleeping civilians who understand I must keep power. Only I am qualified to lead. Before I took over, only Father was fit. Syria…
Read MoreSlots
Sarah didn’t enjoy husband, family, or friends and had no interests save gambling and was happy to live near casino she rushed to three, four, five times weekly and pushed credit card into slots she played hours, stopping only to curse rigged system. She said this was best part of life so didn’t mind burning…
Read MoreReunion
Sorry to hear about funeral but excited to read invitation list of friends long unseen who’ll be there. What memories: college, girlfriends, wives, businesses. We said we’d never lose touch but we did. Now for a little while we’ll be like we were. Then we’ll find out who dies.
Read MoreCourtside in Las Vegas
He’s the master of smooth jump shooting. He’s a shrewd passer and disruptive long-armed defender. He’s the player who hits shots when it matters. He’s Mr. Clutch, Jerry West, man in the NBA logo. He’s also the legend whose 1960s Los Angeles Lakers lose several times in the finals to the Boston Celtics of supernatural…
Read MorePutin to Host Snowden
I shall be delighted to host freedom fighter Edward Snowden not only in Russia but in dacha. He’s brave young man to reveal American colossus, through NSA and other insidious organizations, is recording every conversation, email, and indeed every thought of every citizen in hyper-aggressive, homosexual-loving country. Those who call me intelligence-gobbling hypocrite, since I…
Read MoreLas Vegas Hell Motel
Fritz and Ida go to bed early, arise refreshed, eat good breakfast, and then grit teeth before driving east to enter Mojave Desert where dry death and hot existence always depress, but they can’t afford flight to Las Vegas for NBA summer league. Thankfully, they’ve reserved good motel, for three nights at fifty bucks per,…
Read MoreThe Bold Investor – Published
INTRODUCTION TO “THE BOLD INVESTOR” In these thirty-eight luminous short stories George Thomas Clark presents a smorgasbord of mysteries, adventures, and issues. Edgar Allan Poe may have been murdered. Promising actor Martin Stevens drinks and drugs himself from Hollywood to the streets. Extraterrestrials benignly dominate the earth until they suddenly demand humans make Bakersfield the…
Read MoreInside Fire
Last Friday lightning ignites dry hills near Prescott and we twenty guys in Hotshot Crew put on helmets, backpacks, and other gear, preparing to stop or at least limit fire threatening to destroy homes and thousands of acres. We drive into hills and Sunday afternoon turn on chainsaw to rip incendiary chaparral from earth and…
Read MoreAssessing Yarnell
On June 18 my cousin, Carolynn, a retired nurse living in Prescott, Arizona sent this email: “A wildfire broke out yesterday around noon and came over to my side of the mountain by evening. Fear is not a common emotion for me to feel, but feel it I did as I hurriedly packed to evacuate.…
Read MoreMichelle Intervenes
“Barack, what’s that smell?” “Just new cleanser they’re using.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah.” “Open this door.” “Can’t, the vice president and I are resolving the immigration and Syrian crises.” “You’re profaning the Oval Office as well as disobeying my directives.” “I’m doing no such thing.” “You think I don’t know.” “How could you?” “I had…
Read MoreSoothing Barack
“Mr. President, you’ve been quite tense.” “Since when?” “Last five years or so.” “Be thankful you bear not my burden, Joe.” “I am, but I’ll have to unless you mellow out.” “I work out, play golf, spend quality time with the wife. What else can I do?” Joe smiled and presented a perfectly rolled cigarette.…
Read MoreMorsi the Great
I detest people who doubt I’m ideal President of Egypt. I oppose tyranny and always did in years as activist in Muslim Brotherhood. Now I’m battling reactionary elements of former regime trying to regain power and repress liberty. I don’t allow courts to help enemies of progress. I ignore them and godless parties seeking to…
Read MoreSilvio Berlusconi
Those saying I’m thief and libertine are fools. I’m suave multi-billionaire media mogul who as prime minister and consummate politician dominated Italy for generation. Regrettably, latest idiots are three dowdy female judges, jealous of Berlusconi allure for gorgeous young women, who sentenced me to seven years prison and banned from politics for life. They won’t…
Read MoreNew Taliban
To everyone we say relax. We’ve changed and are now using social media. Friend us on Facebook. We deserve support. We’re not going to let anyone use Afghan soil to prepare an attack on other countries. We need peace. We’ve been fighting since birth. We’ll even talk to Obama and puppet Karzai. We’ll talk to…
Read MoreDick Cheney Speaks
Thank God I’m healthy and on TV to warn Barack Obama is lousy president and responsible for IRS persecuting conservatives and terrorists murdering several Americans in Benghazi. I, by contrast, am proud national security expert who protected you on 9/11 and strategic wizard who more than anyone, except underling President Bush, saved American lives by…
Read MorePray for Heat
Sunbathers and other celebrities believe Miami Heat certain to beat Indiana Pacers in series tied at two. I say lunch pail Pacers have five of eight best players, hobbled Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh aren’t second and third after LeBron James, and big Pacers Roy Hibbert, David West, and Paul George outrebounded all Heat in…
Read MorePreemption
stalker aims at breasts she removes
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