My wife grabs my ear and twists as she says, “This isn’t The Broad.”

“It sure is,” I counter.  “Been The Broad as long as it’s been here at LACMA.”

“Now it’s just a bunch of initials beginning with B.  The real Broad’s downtown on Grand Avenue a couple of blocks from the Museum of Contemporary Art.”

“Okay,” I say, “but you better be right if we drive all the way down there.”

She shoves her cellphone in my face and says, “Here, look.”

“They recommend timed tickets,” I say.

“Quit whining and let’s go.”

We get there all right and park within a couple of blocks of the museum and wait less than twenty minutes to get in.

“I read Eli Broad used to have some heavy arguments when he was on the board at MOCA,” I say.

“He had the biggest wallet and most confidence.  That’s why a prolific housing developer became a great collector and then built and clarified who’s in charge at The Broad.”

Gunslinger, Most Wanted, & Jackie

Elvis empties holster standing cowboy wide in boots gun pointed straight eyes aimed too far right.  I doubt he ever shoots anything but TVs.

Meet Thomas Francis G FBI most wanted for staring uneven and grim so you don’t really want him.  He’ll shoot anyone who tries to stop him from robbing Chase Manhattan bank of three hundred grand in 1955 Queens.  Thomas Francis G splits loot with accomplice and escapes with wife and two kids.  Latter are soon abandoned.  No one knows what happens to couple.

I love Jackie twenty times she appears somber and beautiful before granitic soldier.  Sadly, someone shoots Jackie’s husband.

A deranged woman shoots me in 1968 and I feel like it’s all happening on TV.

Notes: Three works by Andy Warhol.

Forbidden Scenes

             I know you think this is a wonderful upper middle-class neighborhood but beware the blossoming girl who wears shorts too short and bites apple while squirting black hose, the serene dog whose barks close master’s ears, the sharp-breasted lady blowing smoke her mother sprays to overcome, and an ominous lady legs in high heels hovering over dapper hat and suit whose arm in drain probes for something she planted.

Notes: Four Forbidden Scenes by Mark Tansey.

Angry Bird

 You don’t like bird eyes and I hate human eyes so am already enraged when I dive for milk that isn’t milk but plaster almost breaking my beak.  Next time my beak’s striking the painter’s nose.

Notes: Angry Because It’s Plaster, Not Milk by Ed Ruscha.