Gilbert Demands Examination of LeBron
March 5, 2018
In a lather, Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert calls and tells me to get online and click the link he just sent. I do so and listen as he says, “Who the hell’s that little dude standing next to Joel Embid after the game? Looks like he’s smiling up at his hero. And check out poor Ben Simmons being bear hugged by a guy squeezing too hard. Who’d do that on an NBA court? Good heavens, Doctor, the hyper fellow in each image is LeBron James. And let me read you part of his tweet that came a little later: ‘I told y’all a while back that my young King was next in line!… Tonight another example of that… Remember lil bro’ settle for nothing less than GREATNESS.’
“Did you watch the game?”
“Yes,” I say, “most enjoyable.”
“Are you insane? The Philadelphia 76ers beat us.”
“One team loses every game, Dan. Let’s look at the box score. Embid scored seventeen points, grabbed fourteen rebounds, and assisted six times, an amazing display of versatility for a man more than seven-feet tall and who weighs at least two-eighty. And LeBron’s young King, a point guard tall as many centers, had eighteen points and nine rebounds while assisting eight times and stealing twice and blocking one shot. Those two studs are historically relevant.”
“That’s why LeBron’s scared of them.”
“I don’t think he’s scared,” I say. “He really was marvelous tonight, totaling thirty points, nine rebounds, and eight assists.”
“I order you to talk to him, counsel him, medicate him, whatever’s necessary.”
“Necessary to do what?”
“To make him quit acting like a kid in the presence of two towering Santa Clauses.”
“I’m going to have to overrule you, Dan.”
“Then I’ll fire you.”
“Go ahead. My medical integrity isn’t for sale.”
“You can see what’s going to happen, can’t you?” he asks
“When?”
“Next season.”
Extending an upturned palm I wish Dan could see, I say, “It appears that King James will join the big young King and the colossal center in the City of Brotherly Love.”
“That’s why you must medicate him.”
“In my judgment, he doesn’t need medication, but you do.”
“Please hurry,” he says.
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