LeBron Analyzes Draft
June 23, 2018
Please don’t ask what I plan to do because at the moment I only know I’m going to make a few comments about the NBA draft, the most essential being: thank god for basketball and my flat screen TV on which I behold the huge image of seven-one muscleman DeAndre Ayton. If this numero uno were going to my Cleveland Cavaliers, I’d probably pronounce: I shall stay. Alas, this skilled young ass-kicker is going to a team in even greater need, the Phoenix Suns. He’ll mesh with gunning guard Devin Booker and athletic forward Josh Jackson, but we Cavaliers would’ve offered an immediate and more stimulating task, that of exploiting the Warriors the only place they’re imperfect, deep inside.
The second pick, Marvin Bagley, might also have compelled me to croon Home Sweet Home. This six-eleven, long-armed athlete alley oops as well as dunks independently and offensive rebounds and hits mid-range jumpers and even threes and can take the ball off the defensive board and, like a giant running back, weave his way to the opposite end zone. I could’ve offered him championship possibilities right away but the Sacramento Kings summoned him to form a duo of left-handed dashers with De’Aaron Fox. Bagley will energize the Kings but they still won’t make the playoffs.
I like Luka Doncic and am flattered he says I’m his favorite player. The discerning lad is highly skilled and may someday be an all star but I worry he may not have the hops or speed of an elite player. Nevertheless, he’d certainly have given us a quantum upgrade at shooting guard. Instead, he’ll journey to Dallas to join dynamic point guard Dennis Smith and pretty good forward Harrison Barnes to form a decent threesome as deadeye Dirk Nowitzki approaches the end of his distinguished career.
The fourth man taken, Jaren Jackson, stands six-eleven and hits three pointers and blocks shots and would’ve helped us, though probably not enough to encourage me to stay, and will have abundant opportunities to grow for the egregious Grizzlies of Memphis who must build a new foundation.
I’m sure you’re aware that throughout the recent season I as much as ordered the Cavaliers to go get Trey Young, the relatively short and slender, yet somehow magical, point guard who became the first freshman to lead the nation in scoring and assists, an achievement that shows me he’ll star in our league. He just won’t be doing so for my current team. The woeful Atlanta Hawks now have him via the fifth pick, and I believe, at least this instant, he was probably the last of the young guns who, by themselves, could have prompted me to consider staying in Cleveland.
Don’t misquote me. Maybe I will stay. Maybe Collin Sexton, the tough and athletic point guard we took at number eight, can be a key part of changes that must be made. Did you see the game when his Alabama team played Minnesota? Five of Sexton’s teammates were ejected for charging onto the floor during a confrontation. Another fouled out, leaving Sexton and three mates to battle five opponents. Then another Alabaman fell, spraining his ankle, and Collin Sexton, with almost eleven minutes remaining, was suddenly playing three on five ball against a ranked team. He wasn’t disheartened. He was inspired, frequently breaking away from two and sometimes three swarming defenders, driving for layups and making threes and following with more layups and threes, and Alabama, which even before the personnel debacle had trailed by eighteen, stormed back within three. Less than two minutes remained. Sexton tallied thirty-one points for the half and forty for the game. Mercifully, for Minnesota, time expired, and the majority won by five.
I just watched highlights of that on YouTube and wonder why Fox Sports analyst Chris Broussard reported sources close to me said our acquiring intrepid Collin Sexton would have “zero” effect on my choice of destinations next season. Sexton’s not a tectonic shift like DeAndre Ayton, but a combatant like him will certainly help the Cavaliers regardless of where I play.
And I’m probably looking for more help than I can get in Cleveland where, in part because of my overwrought personnel demands, we’re locked into contracts large and long.