Nuclear Weapons
Netanyahu Assails Rouhani
All Iranian leaders are wolves. Ahmadinejad dressed like wolf so was less dangerous than new President Hassan Rouhani who’s disguised as sheep so can pull wool over international eyes. He wants you to forget decade ago he masterminded hiding nuclear weapons program. He didn’t fool Israel. No one fools us. And we pray he won’t…
Read MoreNew Iranian President
I am Hassan Rouhani, new president of Iran and most reasonable and educated man. I speak Persian, Arabic, and English well, received law degree in Scotland, and have served Iran in many high military, diplomatic, and political offices. No one has more relevant experience. I understand people and universal need for expression and think you…
Read MoreSuper Kim Jong Un
I don’t fear starving people. They love my fat face. I worry about generals who pray I’m not tough as Father and Grandfather, generals who may want my place. They can’t have it. They’re learning I’m strongest Kim yet. I’ve already captured, jailed, and tortured North Korean fishermen, and fired missiles able to carry nuclear…
Read MoreGunter Grass’ Poem for Israel
Criticize Gunter Grass not for being anti-Semitic, which he isn’t, but for choosing the wrong medium to present “What Must Be Said” about the dangers and inequities of Israeli foreign policy. In the second stanza Grass is poetic rather than precise in stating Israel plans “a strike to snuff out the Iranian people.” The descendents…
Read MoreKim Jong-Il Attacks Again
Don’t dare celebrate Western exaggerations that my body’s withered by a stroke and my face twisted into a mask of fading comprehension. I’m still mighty Kim Jong-Il and determined to confront those who claim they’re blessed with freedom and nutrition but are in fact imperialistic criminals using economic sanctions to punish my starving North Korean…
Read MoreKim Jong Il Celebrates Sixty Years of War
I am in splendid health. Reports of my suffering strokes and other debilitating maladies are simply the delusions of enemies who refuse to admit that the great North Korean nation built by my late father, Kim Il Sung, and I is a fountain of wealth, happiness, and awesome military power. I recently celebrated my good…
Read MoreThe Atomic Cafe
Welcome to The Atomic Café where we serve vivid images of tests from July 1945 Alamogordo leading to uncontested flight over Hiroshima about which crewman notes hard to conceive damage they’ve done. Smiling President Truman reports we’ve taken biggest scientific gamble in history, awful responsibility, and won, and thank God it’s our responsibility and not…
Read MoreAhmadinejad and Bush Spar at the United Nations
In a startling (and heretofore unreported) miscalculation in security planning last week at the United Nations in New York, secret service agents led a rapidly-departing President George W. Bush right into the exit path of the man he most loves to talk about but least wants to talk to, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran. President…
Read MoreShah of Iran Comments on the Nuclear Nation
Why would I be bitter the Americans deserted me? I suppose they felt I hadn’t done enough. During World War II, after the British forced my anachronistic father to leave the throne and installed me, I opened a vital Persian Corridor for Anglo-American supplies Russia used to defeat the Nazis. In the 1950’s I again…
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