Nuclear Weapons
Lecturing Trump
Lecturing Trump By Xi Jinping Donald Trump must be nervous, flying to huge Beijing where he’s worried I may publicly rebuke him for bad behavior. He should know I’m too sophisticated to insult him before TV cameras as he did to President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine last year at the White House. Poor Zelensky is…
Victory Imminent
Victory Imminent by Donald Trump I knew I had beat hell out of the Iranians and they’d soon capitulate and accept a two-week ceasefire and open the Strait of Hormuz and that’s exactly what they just did. Many great countries, including China and Japan, will soon have oil sailing toward their shores. I’ve…
Negotiations in Islamabad
Negotiations in Islamabad By Abbas Araghchi I’m mildly comforted our large team of diplomats and scholars doesn’t have to go to Europe to talk to the Americans, and even more relieved that dumb and devious Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff will not be leading the small U.S. contingent, but they will be there. That’s a…
Calling Bibi
Calling Bibi by Donald Trump My aide called Benjamin Netanyahu and his assistant said, “The prime minister is in a meeting. He’ll call President Trump as soon as he can.” I waited five minutes, ten minutes and more, way too long, before I said, “I’ll call him myself,” and I did. “He’s still in the…
Jesus Returns
Jesus Returns by Donald Trump check out the truth social portrait of me as jesus surrounded by worshipers one of whom used ai to portray me honestly i only posted it to inspire you and the lovely people i’m bombing George Thomas Clark on Amazon
Insanity
Insanity hey old nazi who are you to proclaim “a whole civilization will die tonight never to be brought back again” infinitely better to remove your carcass before armageddon what’ll it be twenty-fifth amendment or impeachment George Thomas Clark on Amazon
Memo to Trump
Memo to Trump no need to commit crimes against humanity strait of hormuz already open to nations not trying to annihilate iran
Badass – Letter Two to Trump
Badass – Letter Two to Trump by George Thomas Clark Dear President Trump, I hate to contaminate my prose with your foul-mouthed gangsterism, but for context it’s necessary to quote your Truth Social post at 1:03 p.m. on April 5, 2026: “Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one,…
Forced Eviction – Letter Two to Trump
Donald Trump The White House Dear President Trump, I’m in West Sacramento admiring a long line of people, some carrying anti-Trump signs, as they march toward the iconic yellow Tower Bridge stretching over the Sacramento River to a broad avenue that leads to the state Capitol where several thousand people have gathered to celebrate and…
Bring It
Bring It By Ayatollah Mujtaba Khamenei During your cowardly Pearl Harbor attack on the Islamic Republic of Iran, you murdered my father and mother and wife and a daughter and son and many comrades in our high command, and you clearly believed we would kneel before you and satanic Israel and bare our throats. What…
Unconditional Surrender
Unconditional Surrender by Pete Hegseth Standing strong at the press conference microphone, I’m fired up since President Trump is getting a feel for unprovoked attacks against overmatched enemies and then declaring victory and vowing to run the conquered countries his way from now on. The sooner he takes over, the better. The Iranians should’ve…
Operation Roaring Lion
Operation Roaring Lion by Donald Trump I’m the most powerful man who’s ever lived and positive I can ignore the War Powers Resolution demanding I notify Congress to get its approval within forty-eight hours of attacking another country. That’s absurd. I’m not going to alert “vicious (and) terrible” Iranian enemies that we’re coming to crush…
Dynamic Diplomacy
Dynamic Diplomacy by Superman It’s not immodest but essential that I confirm what you’ve often heard. I am indeed “faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.” In the nuclear age, I confess, those are militarily irrelevant feats, and a mere one-ton bomb…
Inflation
Inflation by Ayatollah Ali Khamenei I hope people around the world, especially Americans, are bright enough to understand that the Islamic Republic is not to blame for recent unrest inside Iran. On the contrary, imperialistic sanctions and other economic attacks caused our currency to collapse until it took forty-two thousand rial to equal one dollar.…
Visiting Trump Again
Visiting Trump Again by Benjamin Netanyahu I love visiting President Donald Trump more than anyone in the world. He’s not only a wonderful man, he’s a strategic genius and peacemaker extraordinaire. Israelis and Americans, the closest of allies, are always excited when we meet at the summit, determined to save the world. I’ve already been…
Twenty-Six Questions for Donald Trump
Twenty-Six Questions for Donald Trump by George Thomas Clark Why did you announce that you would attack Iran to save anti-government protestors and promise that “help is on the way”? You implied the rescue was imminent. You knew that was a lie. You have many times bragged that you annihilated Iran’s nuclear program during your…
On the Brink
On the Brink by An Iranian Educator I’ve been on the edge of a sword all my life. When I was an adolescent in the late nineteen seventies, sadistic agents from SAVAK, the dreaded secret police of the Shah of Iran, stormed into our home, clubbed my father, cursed my mother, and threatened my brother…
Lebensraum
Lebensraum by Benjamin Netanyahu Israel and I have never yearned for anything but peace and safety for our people. I did not seize power but acquired it democratically and lost it and reacquired it and lost it again before once more earning the ultimate confidence of my people for what now totals a wondrous…
How to Save the World
How to Save the World by Joe Six Pack Some of my neighbors opened their windows and shouted, “Hold it down, redneck,” when I bugled reveille early this morning. I bet most of them are liberals and other traitors. “Go back to bed, cowards,” I shouted. “You can’t protect freedom whether you’re asleep or not.”…